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  2. physician of the soul

    A river spoke to me in a dream, I had to tell it the red moon's reflection was not a wound. Soldiers do not want hear about the mechanics of laparotomy, Quenu knew battle had changed, death hissed at his paradigm, we had mobile units, early evacuations, transport for the wounded-the winds of propaganda could not slow down echoes of standardization. The wind went blind one night, I was woken by it hands examining my stomach for a wound, my needle's eye is blind and the end is bent, Quenu refused the wings that heaven sent, he dug and his spade met and touched that of the angel digging the war out of false consciousness. I am a surgeon not a visionary but I can see the lost vision of my patients turning into ambulances. I have become an agent, a physician of the soul-I have to remain pure as the many wives of war tempt me with despair and ravage me with rage, one wife whispers "emotive psychosis", another "obnubliation". A strange inversion grips me when I listen to patients, like mountains are climbing me and seas are drowning in me. The winter has psychosis, it's winds are linear, soldiers tell me of there synesthesia-they hear snow flakes scream and blood sing.
  3. Ink Sweat and Tears

    Apologies Tony. I thought I had responded. Thank you for your comments, and yes the structure was intentional, pleased you enjoyed. all the best Phil
  4. oriole

    Hi Barry, I have to admit that often your writing confuses me and makes me hesitant to respond. You always serve up wonderful unique imagery. How it all fits together is sometimes a mystery to me. You seem to have been on an anti war theme in this and in another recent poem. But I could be totally off in my assessment, I'm made up of simpler stuff. Love the "bonsai sun of the oriole's yellow plumage" ~~Tink
  5. Diversion

    Diversion It's called life. A plan is made to live unafraid. It's called life A call, a need, something to read. It's called life Bills to pay Sometimes I play It's called life. A meal, a meet someone to greet It's called life The noise, the mess, Always a guess It's called life I work, I write maybe tonight ~Judi Van Gorder Written in response to a prompt to write about what keeps you from writing.
  6. oriole

    A golden oriole opened my cagebriefly, six bars of a song, his blackwings eclipse those of war. I havedied six times as ennui rips anotherghost whose wrist aches for the presenceof the orioles yellow breast to unclenchthe unresting fists of battle-to slip on a gold ring as war marries war.i spot an owl one night on the hunt as I seeka fire-fighter to locate the elusive flames thatburn within. Tears cross the sky, fire falls fromclouds. I have one type of madness that seeksa sane reflection. How insignificant I seem againstthe bonsai sun of the oriole's yellow plumage, thiswar just another distant scream of a planet orbitingthe sun.
  7. A few Than Bauk scribbles

    enjoyed this excellent piece-well done
  8. The Poetic Line

    Cool find. These are all great points in the linked article. Each one of them could be discussed in great detail and supplemented with examples. So much work to be done ... Tony
  9. Ink Sweat and Tears

    Very nice work, Phil. I enjoyed the mood of the piece also its clean, polished layout on the page of what appears be a tasteful, elegant publication. The poem has an ultra-finished look, especially with the choices in first and last words -- hullabaloo/peek-a-boo -- whether that was an intentional consequence or not. The title is perfect. Tony
  10. The Poetic Line

    Nice addition Badge Thanks. Yes beginning and end words in the line have extreme importance. It always surprises me when modern poets end a line with "and". I see it all of the time. Your point of beginning with a trochee for balance makes total sense. Beginning with a trochee always commands attention on the first syllable. In To Read a Poem by Donald Hall, his first chapter is "Good Poems" and proceeds to explicate 3 poems, the first is Robert Frost's Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. He spends a lot of time discussing word placement in the line and how the beginning and end lines are. Frost was a genius at it. ~~Tin
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  12. The Poetic Line

    hi Tink Many relevant points made in that article. The emphasis on pattern in particular. I do feel, especially in the use of rhyme, that lines trot to an inevitable end line weight. The use of a trochee at the beginning of a line provides counter to that weight; a caesura also provides pivot balance; verbs and nouns placed at the line beginning provide dynamic. A pattern of weak words to begin lines can be as flawed as weak end line words in the overall effect. Thanks for sharing badge
  13. Ink Sweat and Tears

    I have one appearing here http://www.inksweatandtears.co.uk/pages/?p=15239 best Phil
  14. Medicine man

    A wind blows inside of the mirror as I shave-the voice of my future spirit. My blade riseswith death's scythe, I collect bristles, hisinstrument whistles with efficiency. I am just a medicine man of the trenches unableto find a paradigm that will capture nature'slaboratory.Death rocks eyes back and forth of those who have lost their sight, he shakes outvisions, bombs fall, death taps ash on the arm of his rocking chair, how casualbrutality seems. Rain leaks breaking overa needle's eye, I stitch the wound of someone who speaks of a near death experience andreaching a point but having to return.Screams echo in woods and forests, they aretrapped in winter's throat-the future soundtrackof silent memories. The moon's fading imprintsare like the lost buttons of a soldiers coat, wardoes not recognize it's self portrait.
  15. Torc

    Until you asked, I had never thought to find out where in Wales they came from. They were Welsh Mormons who migrated to the USA and Utah because of religious persecution. Hundreds migrated I believe, my family came by ship in 1871. So you sent me on an internet search my great great grandmother Cecelia Griffiths is from Swansea, Glamorganshire, Wales and her first born son Reese, also from Swansea. For some reason it lists my great great grandfather David Griffiths from Cardiff, Glamorganshire, Wales. My great-grandmother, Catherine Griffiths was the 2nd child of 9 total. Her older brother, Reese, was born in Wales, she was born on the way over here on the ship and the rest born in Helper Utah. She married William Grimes, also I believe, part of the Mormon migration from Wales but I couldn't find his name on the manifests or any Grimes for that matter. Thanks for asking Badge. Now I know more about my family. I actually remember my great grandparents, I particularly loved my great grandfather, we had a special connection. I was 6 when we were having a holiday dinner and grandpa Grimes was napping and didn't come down when it was getting close to meal time so I was sent up to wake him. I couldn't. When I came down and said he wouldn't wake up I was shoved in a corner with my little brother and told to keep him there with me. I remember the women crying and bustling about, then my dad took us home while Mama stayed with her family. That was 70 years ago but it is a vivid memory. ~~Tink
  16. The Poetic Line

    If the word is the cornerstone of poetry, the line is it's foundation. The line is the fundamental element of verse, the difference between verse and prose. Its purpose is to increase the density of the thought or image and give focus to the words. The line is written in many styles, patterns and meters. I recently discovered this article by Dana Gioia on the poetic line which prompted this blog. After reading it I realized I cannot improve on it. It says it all, I encourage you to read it. The Poetic Line . Dana Gioia is Former Chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts, an award winning poet and is currently the Poet Laureate of California. As a side note, indentation of the line and/or centering the poem on the page is at the poet's discretion. Indenting a line midway or at the end of a stanza can give emphasis to the line. Sometimes centering a poem can enhance the content by the visual positioning. However in my opinion, all too often centering a poem is used as a gimmick to distract from the lack of substance. It should compliment the content otherwise keep lines at left margin. For further information about some of the more common poetic lines you can also go to The Frame. ~~Tink
  17. armistice

    Interesting Barry, your juxtaposition between sound and sight mixing the two. I read this as being written by a soldier in the chaos of war. Unique and vivid images. ~~Tink
  18. armistice

    I had to lie to winter after it asked mefor directions to heaven. In letters Ilied to my wife, protocol demandsher husband be a patriot. hero.Darkness bled from the light as we laidthe dead and made two tracks forthe train of war that travelled backwards,there was the gap in the trajectory waitingfor me.In a dream I was the wind blowing dust offthe lens that was capturing the oral photographsof war, death does not recognise me in this formas I arrive home to straighten my wife's hair andscatter the voices of despair to put out the fires ofwar. The scarecrow of my mind smiles then screamsas i emerge from flames, fires clear like death'sblurred vision, light from stars like stethoscopes.I am one of the herd desperately seeking a prescriptionfor hope.
  19. A few Than Bauk scribbles

    I started playing with this form Than Bauk and ended up writing a few. #1 To hone your skill try a drill. Write and fill a page #2 Too many spills create bills, woes. Tests wills of men. #3 The harvest moon croons a tune low. Too soon the day #4 Thanks for the read filling a need new. A seed is sown. ~~ Tink
  20. Another Accuser

    Very funny Tony, yes I hope you are just kidding. I know there are some incidents that it is a woman who is the predator but I truly believe those are isolated. It is a power thing not really a sex thing, sex is just the tool. There are so many more men in power than women. When all of this stuff flooded the news it was easy to react with "all men are pigs" especially when so many women have been victims, highlighted by the "me too" campaign. But then I have to step back and think of all of the men who have been gentlemen, the men I trust with my life, the men I have a great deal of respect for. My husband, my son, my many male friends. Hot topics are always good fodder for those times when you need a subject to write about. ~~Tink
  21. Another Accuser

    I hope no one is waiting for an apology from me, because none is forthcoming! Just kidding, I apologize if I've offended anyone. Nice work, Judi. Excellent use of art to zoom in on a hot topic current event. I think works like these help keep attention on not only the past/present scandal but the problem in general, hopefully mitigating its ongoing nature by helping to force necessary positive change. Tony
  22. My Morning Walk

    Thanks Badge, Yes weather is so unpredictable. Right now it is wet and cold and very much like winter. I imagine Wales has similar weather to us although you get snow, I believe, but it is rare for us to get more than a flurry that doesn't even stick to the ground. I loved your observation of the black bird. It is you keen sense of observation that make your poems so interesting. ~~Judi Thanks Tony, The Deten is kind of an easy form to work within. I think Dave at Writing.com is choosing weekly challenges that I haven't already written an example poem for. I keep writing. And what can I say, nature at its best surrounds me. The photo is from my front yard. Everything is getting overgrown. I just haven't had the energy to work out there. They say I should be getting my energy back in the next month then winter at it coldest and wettest will be here. By Spring I'll have a full fledged forest out there. ~~Judi
  23. Movies and Horses

    Nice work, Judi. Not only is the poem composed in an easy to read, attractive application of free verse, it has the appropriate autobiographical content. Tony
  24. My Morning Walk

    Very lovely sonics in this one. I think it's the alliteration/assonance together, in combination with the line/stanza lengths. A remarkably fluid, pleasurable read. Tony
  25. Clubland

    Thank you, Judi. I relied on your Rondeau Prime Reference Section topic when crafting this poem. The length of the form met my needs as did its repetition feature, the rentrement. I added a footnote for the literary allusion in the penultimate line. I must confess that I've never read the book or seen the movie(s)! Tony
  26. Clubland

    Tony this was worth waiting for. I love the frame. It allows just enough room to make an impact. Not too long, not too short. Of course the whole thing rests on the first phrase of the poem, so important to establish the rhythm and tone in that repeated phrase. So well done. ~~Judi
  27. Monometrics technically means the practice of writing in lines of a single metric foot. The metric pattern, the number of lines, the rhyme or no rhyme are all at the discretion of the poet. I think I do I dance I love I write I am However at All Poetry, Walter E. Ferguson invented 3 forms he calls Monometric that either add or subtract or add and subtract a line in subsequent stanzas. The number of metric feet in the lines is at the discretion of the poet as long as all lines are of equal length. The metric pattern used is at the discretion of the poet as long as it is consistent within the line. Augmented Monometrics is the invented form that starts with a couplet and the next stanza adds a line to make a tercet, the next adds a line to become a quatrain, then next stanza adds another line to make a quintain and so on. The elements of Augmented Monometrics are: any number of stanzas at the discretion of the poet. The poem begins with a couplet, followed by a tercet, followed by a quatrain, and so on at the discretion of the poet. Each stanza gaining a line. metric, metric pattern and length are at the discretion of the poet as long as the pattern and length remains consistent throughout the poem. rhymed, rhyme scheme mono rhymed stanzas aa bbb cccc ddddd eeeeee etc. Diminishing Monometrics is the invented form that begins with a stanza that is one less line than the number of stanzas the poet chooses to write. Each subsequent stanza is diminished by a line until arriving at a concluding couplet. The elements of Diminishing Metrics are: any number of stanzas at the discretion of the poet. The poem begins with a stanza with 1 line more than the number of stanzas the poet chooses to write. Each subsequent stanza loses a line until ending in a concluding couplet. metric, metric pattern and length are at the discretion of the poet as long as the pattern and length remains consistent throughout the poem. rhymed, rhyme scheme mono rhymed stanzas aaaaaa bbbbb cccc ddd ee or aaaa bbb cc, depending on the number of stanzas the poet chooses to write. Reversed Monometrics is the invented form that either begins with diminishing the number of lines in a stanza until a couplet is reached and then increases the number of lines in the stanzas until the last stanza is the same number of lines in the first stanza or begins with a couplet and increases the lines in subsequent stanzas until the poem chooses to reverse and diminishes by the one the number of line until a couplet is reached. The elements are the same as above. Transitive Sonnet is an invented sonnet form created by Lawrence Eberhart that borrows the idea of Reversed Monometrics and fits it into a quatorzain. The elements of the Transitive Sonnet are; a quatorzain made up of a couplet, a tercet, a quatrain, a tercet, a couplet in that order. (Reversed Monometric stanzaic form). metric, lines range from iambic tetrameter to iambic pentameter, syllable count allowing for feminine rhyme. rhymed, mono-rhymed pattern aa bbb cccc bbb aa. The first 7 lines in bold must be true rhyme and the last 7 lines may be near or slant rhyme at the discretion of the poet. pivot at the discretion of the poet.
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