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Poetry Magnum Opus

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  1. Today
  2. tonyv

    Witch

    Thank you, again, Phil. "Will" it is ... Tony
  3. badger11

    Witch

    If you want 'completeness' then will
  4. Last week
  5. tonyv

    Witch

    Edited again. L9: I know, for sure, she has the cure -- has become -- I know, for sure, she'll have the cure Nothing major, just messing around with tense.
  6. The moon walks with Bullseye through his dreams as it's reflection lands on park waters and winter streams. Ghosts of Pearson park hint without whispering of story's to make Bullseyes eyes sing themselves into transfiguration to become wishing wells, spirits faces are minted in moonlight and placed at the bottom of the water. The wind becomes a tongue for spirits whose songs are sung to a handsome dog ambling through Pearson park, the moon has ended its hunt for a repository, an ark to store resting narratives of park residents who have passed away and want to relive their restive tales. Each ghost lays with Bullseye who sleeps, his heart is raised to the sky-a satellite soaked in moonlight, each spirit makes a wish to summon their story and the sky is furnished with flashing images to become a stage until a handsome dog wakes to wistfully add his own wondrous passage.
  7. tonyv

    Witch

    Hmmm...changing it some more: L13 -- Never again will my sun rise! -- to: Never again may the sun rise! -- or: Never again will the sun rise! Small changes, big improvements … I hope. (Still wavering between "may" and "will," but "my" will definitely become "the.")
  8. tonyv

    Witch

    Thanks, Phil! I made a couple of minor changes. I changed "we're" in L10 to "I'm" and "our suns" in L13 to "my sun." Tony
  9. badger11

    Witch

    hi Tony, That was something of a surprise. A chiller. Like the monosyllabic shift for the concluding conflagration and demise. By L14 I forgot the mention of dream in L1. best Phil
  10. badger11

    Bread

    Good suggestion Tony. I can't make up my mind either! cheers Phil
  11. Thanks Tony. Yes, close to home. best Phil
  12. tonyv

    Witch

    In my persistent low-res dream I trek a path beside a stream until I reach the sylvan house. No moon or stars. It's lightly snowing. A bedroom windowpane is glowing. She's on the bed in just a blouse. I try the door. It's not secure. The floor creaks softly when I creep. I know, for sure, she'll have the cure for when I'm restless and can't sleep. Her withered limbs and crooked back couple me to her weary thighs. Never again will the sun rise! Mouths, necks, hands, throats, smoke, choke, black.
  13. Tinker

    Vote

    Ha ha Tony. I didn’t say how to vote, but to exercise your right to cast your ballot. I was really pleased to learn the record numbers got the message, not necessarily from my poem. ~~Judi
  14. Tinker

    Forgotten

    Thanks tony, it was the human element that it was all about. ~~ Judi
  15. Who was this Mrs. Nicholas? I looked her up: How a cobbler's wife armed with a pitchfork captured 12 Frenchmen during the last invasion of mainland Britain. An entertaining historical piece that I presume, for the author, is close to home. Tony
  16. tonyv

    Bread

    As a fan of short poems, I do like the path the revisions have taken. I'm torn between Revision 2 and Revision 3. I like five lines in the former and can appreciate the desire to condense in the latter. What about something like this: My old teacher, telling lewd jokes to mallards, wears a feathered hat. The sign says 'Do not feed the ducks' but life does not change overnight for him … or me. Just a thought. Almost all my own poems go down this road. Tony
  17. tonyv

    Forgotten

    The lone flicker of light has me wondering ... A reclusive inhabitant? A transient? I presupposed this was about an abandoned property. I wasn't expecting the inclusion of a human element and was pleased to find it. Tony
  18. tonyv

    Ailsa MacCaig

    I enjoyed reading this fine work and the ensuing discussion. Thank you for both! Tony
  19. tonyv

    Stuckie

    It must be in an intermediate level, because I do think I understand it … probably because it's in writing. Had I heard it read out loud, I probably wouldn't have understood as much not being able to see the words and make educated guesses as to their meanings. Nice work. Tony
  20. tonyv

    Crazies

    Nice work, Judi. One small suggestion -- I would eliminate the period at the end of S4. The title definitely caught my attention. If you're into zombies, the infected, whatever they may turn out to be in the "apocalypse," I recommend the movie The Crazies (2010 film). Tony
  21. tonyv

    Vote

    Judi, I've read about unsubs interfering in elections by hacking and using fake Twitter accounts, but trying to alter elections by posting a powerful poem on the internet??? That's a new one! Great job, but try to keep it legal ... This tactic might be too intense! Tony
  22. tonyv

    Siber --for badger11

    Well Alek, I'll give you some time to mull it over, and then we'll just have to discuss its finer points. Glad you liked it! Tony 😀
  23. tonyv

    Siber --for badger11

    Thanks FrasMac, this one is one of my favorites, and I'm excited that you like it, too! Tony
  24. Earlier
  25. This is mostly true. More or less. A jagged cove curtained with mist, the anchored grins that cut the stillness, a thought of cawl none could resist. They got Mrs Nicholas instead - a grenadier, red cloak, tall hat, a mother tongue to befuddle heads and pitchfork invaders back. These fraying clouds create a theatre of ghosts above the waves of ifs and buts. I hear the host mutter their lines along dramatic cliffs. I'm left a muddle of ways ahead. But, is it Mrs Nicholas I dread?
  26. Tinker

    Haiku Fridays

    #45 acrid stench of smoke rides on Friday morning breeze fire threat looms again I know the Camp Fire is a long way away from my home but it smells like it is right outside. The entire town of Paradise is wiped out and the fire is travelling west in my direction. I am not in imminent danger but fire is California's biggest threat and I live in a forest, always conscious that it just takes a spark. Our volunteer fire department has dispatched a truck to help fight the fire. In little over a year we have experienced way too much devastation from fire in this state and right now we are experiencing 2 more huge, fast moving fires one in the south and one here in the north. Last night they reported that the Camp Fire was moving the distance of 3 football fields a minute. ~~Tink
  27. Footnotes to The New Norm Written in response to last night's senseless slaughter of 12 at a college country music event at the Borderline Bar and Grill in Thousand Oaks, California by a lone gunman who shot strangers simply because he could. Written in the Burmese verse form Ya-Du only because there is challenge at WCD to write a Ya-Du.
  28. Tinker

    The New Norm

    A New Norm Killing season, no reason why, listen and see nobody safe or free from threat, no relief. In church or school its not cool but the rule of hate takes the bait and we wait for the gunman to stand. So when the gun fires on fun, it has won again. We cry sin, we can't win. Action is what we need. ~~Judi Van Gorder, a Ya-Du Notes:
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