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Poetry Magnum Opus
summayya

Happily married-1

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summayya

She always loved jigsaw. She picked a piece and examined it for so long that the whole slipped into the part.

 

He looked her from above his file, from under his glasses, awhile, and thought, " What a waste!"

 

Behind them the sun dropped and gulped down their shadows.

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summayya

Side note: Or is this a prose poem? ....=?

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goldenlangur

Hi summayya,

 

 

What wonderful density of images to bring out a moment. The surreal element particularly in the sun dropping off the horizon and gulping their shadows is an element of the prose poem.

 

 

The only tiny nit, if i may make is that the prose poem uses the present tense to create that dream-world layered effect.

 

But a superb write.

 

 

Thank you.

 

 

 

goldenlangur


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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rumisong
She always loved jigsaw. She picked a piece and examined it for so long that the whole slipped into the part.

 

He looked her from above his file, from under his glasses, awhile, and thought, " What a waste!"

 

Behind them the sun dropped and gulped down their shadows.

 

if it were me, I might have just entered this as is, under our "by member poets" section, and let the other minds fight it out where or what they think they should call it-

 

to me, its a poem

 

most especially that a fellow human mind saw it in and out of whatever context it was created in, and decided to pluck it out of the air, to share... THAT to me, is the very essence (heart) of Poetry... THAT- exactly That... plucking it out of the air, because it sings to a human heart- and sharing it ...

 

labeling what it is or isnt from there, lends me this image of when folks stand around a casket and, just before lowering the box into the earth, a handful of dirt is thrown onto it... a sacred act, yes... a "sacrament" - certainly... but a bit after the fact of the poem (that was that life icon_wink.gif)

 

a long way round of saying, I love this summayya- just the way you posted it...

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Tinker

Hi summayya, I am not in my element here as far as prose vs prose poem (one form I still haven't wrapped my mind around) but it reads like a poem to me. A rich and poignant poem. I hear a touch of melancholy. I love the images and the simplicity of the moment. Very moving.

 

~~Tink


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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tonyv

Well, file rhymes with awhile, therefore it's a poem! Just kidding, Summayya.icon_smile.gif I concur with the others: this prose poem is terrific! I'm looking forward to "Happily Married-2" and so forth ...

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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summayya

Thanks for all your wonderful comments fellow members! It is always heartfelt to come by and find such talented people take the time out to read and review your clumsy efforts at poetry.

 

I did think it was a prose poem when I had posted it .. so thought to mention it =D

 

How very wonderful to see Gl around! You were missed Gl! I am glad you are back and well. Always a pleasure to read you and have your around.

 

Rumisong, you made me smile. I really am glad you liked the poem. Many thanks icon_biggrin.png

 

And of course my dear Tinker and Tony. I always look forward to what you both have to say. I have learned loads from both of you and still am learning. Tink, I am glad you mention the melancholy aspect. And tony who else could have mentioned the file and awhile sound but you icon_razz.gif

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