goldenlangur Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 after days of rain outline of the first crescent in the setting sun I look at your smiling lips and remember our first kiss goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Ah how emotional and lovely tanka goldenlangur. I loved. Very picturesque and sounds perfect. Wonderful imageries. How romantic end. Very powerful and emotionally strong Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 i agree with aleks. love the sutle touches of this tender poem. larsen Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hi Aleksandra, Thank you for your warm words of encouragement. I thought a change from the sombre tone of the other tanka I have posted, would be good. I'm so glad that you enjoyed the more life affirming note here, goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hi larsen, Always a pleasure to hear from you I hope you're getting better and that we'll see more of your work here. I'm delighted that you read the tenderness in this piece. Thank you very much, Take care, my friend and hope to read your work goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 The scenery in the first three lines are beautiful and I like how you described the rising moon in the setting sun. The ending lines are lovely. Golden, please furnish me with some info on "tanka". Is it a haiku plus two more lines? Thanks, Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hi Lake, Thank you for your lovely response . I'm so glad that you like the images in the haiku part of the tanka. Yes, the tanka has a haiku in the opening two/three lines and then a turn in image in the second half. It is a five line Japanese form with the syllable count of 5 7 5 77; but most contemporary tanka writers use a range of line lengths - short, long, short, long, long or free form which does not use the syllable count rule. The tanka is lyrical and uses metaphors, similes, but with restraint and more subtly than "like a ..." kind of reference. Here's a link for a great tanka site: http//www.tankaonline.com I hope you'll give this form a try goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 This is sooooo romantic gl. A new side of you. I like it. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 How lovely of you to say this! Tinker wrote: This is sooooo romantic gl. A new side of you. I like it. ~~Tink You've made me smile - a big one Thank you very much, goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I know the feeling well, Golden: after days of rain outline of the first crescent in the setting sun Oppressive low-pressure weather system lifts and gives way to a blue-sky high-pressure dome, culminating in a glorious sunset! I, too, enjoyed the surprise romantic ending. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 11, 2009 Author Share Posted May 11, 2009 Hi Tony, I'm so glad that the scene in the tanka works for you. The first crescent is magical and after days of rain, a sighting is sublime! Re the 'romantic ending' - I've been writing such morose tanka recently so I thought I'd try something else for a change. Thank you for the read and your thoughts. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 Hi Golden, Thanks for your info and the link. I think I have a better understanding of tanka now. Will definitely try it some time. Thanks again, Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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