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badger11

North of Nether Stowey

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badger11

revision

 

Always too long this lover's lane that meanders

just beyond the dell,

that dark and dank, unfettered place.

 

She wears a yellow frock,

moon-bold, breeze-free,

and all the bones beneath the stones begin to dance.

She's not afraid to fall

 

into the sound of rain,

into the wave where all the ghosts are dreaming awake.

Tonight the lane is brimming bright, those silent spiders

are spinning light.

 

And, as always, I forget

and offer my coat for warmth,

drying her moon-eyes, the breeze-whisper wrapped tight.

 

'Tell me about William?' I ask.

 

 

original

 

Always too long this lover's lane that meanders just beyond the dell, that dank and dark unfettered place.

She wears a yellow frock,

moon-bold, breeze-free,

and all the bones beneath the stones begin to dance.

She's not afraid to drown

 

into the sound of rain,

into the wave where all the ghosts are dreaming awake.

Tonight the lane is brimming bright, the silent spiders are spinning light.

 

As always I forget

and give my coat to her for warmth,

drying her moon-eyes, the breeze-whisper wrapped tight.

'Tell me about Harry?' I ask.

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tonyv

What a poem, Badge! It's absolutely lovely, especially L8. I love the varying lengths of the lines, and the the stanza breaks are just right, too.

 

He's drawn to her free spirit. His fondness for her is evident. It suffers all and even rises to a level above jealousy: 'Tell me about Harry?' I ask.

 

Terrific work! And nice to see you again!

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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badger11

Insightful comments on the relationship Tony.

 

Of course, I find my writing drivel and always have, but failure is a signifier of ambition! :wine2:

 

badge

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

wow, badger. i am impressed. this is the best poem i have ever read as far as it was smooth flowing and the finite criso details. i enjoyed reaing it. wow.

 

 

 

victor michael


Larsen M. Callirhoe

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badger11

very kind of you to say so vic, and the poem is sounding better to me with time.

 

cheers

 

badge

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