Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus
  • Announcements

    • tonyv

      Registration -- to join PMO ***UPDATED INSTRUCTIONS***   03/14/2017

      Automatic registration has been disabled. If you would like to join the Poetry Magnum Opus online community, use the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of this page and follow these instructions: 1. Check your email (including your spam folder) in a timely fashion for a reply. 2. After you receive a reply, use the "Sign Up" link at the top right corner of the page to create your account. Do this fast. I've lost my patience with people who use the "Contact Us" link to express interest in joining and then don't bother to check their email for a reply and don't bother to join after registration has been enabled. The queue fills up fast with spammers, and I have to spend my time sifting through the rubbish to delete them. The window of opportunity for joining will be short. I will not have my time wasted. If you don't check your email and you don't bother registering promptly, you will find that registration has been disabled and your future requests to join may go ignored. /s/ Tony ___________________ [Registration will only be enabled for a short while from the time your message is received, so please check your email for a reply and register within 12 hours of using the "Contact Us" link. (Be sure to check your spam folder if you don't see a reply to your message.)]
    • tonyv

      IMPORTANT: re Logging In to PMO ***Attention Members***   03/15/2017

      For security purposes, please use your email address when logging in to the site. This will prevent your account from being locked when malicious users try to log in to your account using your publicly visible display name. If you are unable to log in, use the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of the page.
    • tonyv

      Blogs   05/01/2017

      Blogs are now accessible to Guests. Guests may read and reply to blog entries. We'll see how this works out. If Guest participation becomes troublesome, I'll disable Guest access. Members are encouraged to make use of the PMO Members' Promotional Blog to promote their published works. Simply add your latest entry to the blog. Include relevant information (your name or screen name, poem title, periodical name, hyperlink to the site where published, etc). If you have a lot of them and feel you need your own blog, let me know, and I will try to accommodate you. Members are encouraged to continue also posting their promotional topics in the Promotions forum on the board itself which is better suited for archiving promotions.
Sign in to follow this  
badger11

Cornish Prelude

Recommended Posts

revision3

 

 

When rainy days in caravans

were holidays, I'd lie awake

for gulls to land; that thud of feet

on roof, those rusted voices,

and beaks to quickly fray

a fish's eye. I sank beneath

the cotton sheet and dreamt

a feathered God. I mouthed

pagan prayers that day I found

the feather in mum's tangled hair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

revision2

 

When rainy days in caravans were holidays,

I'd lie awake for gulls to land; that thud of feet

on roof, those rusted voices, beaks to quickly fray

a fishy eye. I sank beneath the cotton sheet

and heard the whoosh of wings and tasted salty air.

I dreamt a feathered God. I mouthed a pagan prayer

that day I found a feather in mum's tangled hair

 

 

=======================================================================================

 

revision1

 

When rainy days in caravans were holidays,

I'd lie awake for gulls to land; that thud of foot

on roof, those rusted voices, the beak to quickly pick

an open eye. I sank beneath the cotton sheet

and heard the whoosh of wings and tasted salty air.

I dreamt a feathered God. I mouthed a pagan prayer

that day I found a feather in mum's tangled hair.

 

 

 

 

 

====================================================================================

 

 

original

 

http://www.poetrymag...?showtopic=3131

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks to Doc Martin and Poldark, I have images in my head of this: distinct and clear from the lines. I like the way the last three rhyme. I can't help but think there was a purpose for sharing rhyme and non-rhyme, but I cannot even begin to imagine what it would be. Unique, though, and i still like it. I think it is workshop compleat.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.