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Larsen M. Callirhoe

Joke

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

wonder woman was lying on the beach naked and looking ready for action. superman was flying overhead and thought well isn't that special. he said I can have her in a split second and she won't understand the ecstasy that hit her. well in a second he was done and flew off. well the invisible man materialized and wonder woman said what's up? why'd you stop? he said "all of a sudden my rear-end hurts."

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dcmarti1

haha, wow, that offends super heroes, women, gays, and those who are "bodily impaired" (the invisible guy). nice. :)

 

i know you are just joking....and i did laugh.

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

hi marti I wasn't trying to offend anyone LOL... it is probably just a dirty joke, but it is funny. I can honestly admit two things from this joke. one I didn't make up this joke and two I am not a good joke teller. I do know that the way I wrote this joke was about as clean as you could make it. I would be considered the invisible man no pun intended. I wouldn't take being tampered in the rear as a sexual thing in my situation. I would use it as an analogy of how the world treats people. as for gays it is their business. while I consider myself not gay and do adhere to biblical standards I do realize everyone interprets texts like the bible so completely and utterly different. and, who am I to judge anyone for the matter when I have committed things the law says is wrong. I have stolen lots of money though I didn't need any of it. I had sex with a minor when I was an adult. according to the law I can go to jail over these issues. as far as I know very few cities or states in the United States or have people that would back up the laws if they threw two consenting adults to jail for being partners in a sex act whether the couple is straight or same sex partners. perhaps I shouldn't say all of this in the open if that be the case I am only human and don't understand why some humans are censored for writing dribble or diatribe true or not in there remarks whether they be just opinion, down out lies, or even the truth heaven forbid it...

 

all of this stated below is probably much deeper than I need to get into it. but, I am an honest human being...

 

from a different unique perspective light has been shed or cast my way that makes me think outside the box... besides I am no judge of anyone's action because if I did I myself could be judged as a thief, with including lewd personal sex issue acts right or right I can't change my past. I slept with a minor, but at the time I did not know she was a minor. still ignorance doesn't mean you are not guilty. it is just that no one ever pressed charges on me. after two times the affair sexually stopped. it doesn't mean I am a pedophile, but some will accuse me exactly of this just that because of ignorance. and, pleading ignorance doesn't mean I am free of the law. I could have been charged with statuary rape of a minor logically and ironically. I posted a poem on this forum that talked about this experience called "15 and stone" and most of the sites I posted this poem on banned the poem and I was labeled some stuff that is not true. even though the young girl repeatedly lied to me it doesn't make me not guilty because of ignoramus ideals in my youth. I was also told I am libel for criminal pursuit if what I wrote is even remotely or allegedly true on a few poetry site forums I posted that poem on. some people don't realize that no human that was on this planet is or was ever perfect. is Jesus Christ perfect if he got angry in the temple because of people making a profit in a religious environment selling stuff for profit when people came to the temple needy for food, clothing, shelter and the likes and were turned away? No one needs to answer this question or even insinuate whether JC is a real entity or not? it is about that story that should make people think about is all. Plain and Simple!!!

 

speaking of which and my remarks below are very serious and adult oriented or natured hoping people don't assume or judge me one way or the other because I am not God, nor do I judge to much of anything. My character and heart are tendered like that. that being said... if I crossed the boundaries of what can be discussed on an open forum on what I commented and remarked pardon my discretions because honestly I mean no character harm to anyone and I am just relating personal experiences in my life.

 

being paralyzed sometimes my bowels don't function properly so I am given an enema to move my bowels. You may or may not know anything about this procedure marti or anyone on this forum or anyone that happens upon this post. I post all of this because we are all apart of the human race. A plastic tube (like a hose) is inserted in the rear and water is gushed into the behind. Since I am paralyzed it feels really weird. Going through this like experience three times being a few times makes me see things differently. What is the difference between being gay and having a medical procedure done to you? If God exists and I believe he does I take a different attitude towards those that are not straight from the few times I have been impacted and couldn't move my bowels. Life is an experience and my views on gays (homosexuals) don't really matter in the greater scheme of things. I have never stated whether if I am pro or anti gay. I don't feel I have to state what I feel or think in this regards because I for one am not God, two I am not your judge, three you are all human beings, and four I don't know right from wrong nor do I claim to. this is because I don't know everything and I don't claim to be the smartest hatchling in the bunch either. I learn new stuff everyday. If I accused someone of being gay wouldn't it be a stick and stones, but names will never harm me thingy honestly. I can only harm someone with violence, force, or the threat of these two circumstances if used negatively against any human being.

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Many Christians aren't keen on homosexuals. that being said I do consider myself a Christian, but The only thing I have openly stated is that I am against abortion in my Christian views. it is a tool to control minorities and the poor I believe. besides the New World Order wants to reduce the population down to 500 million human beings and these people don't hide that fact at all or either. Since I am disabled and cost lots of money to care for either I become an experiment to the state or the ones that dictate do away with those like me including me though by then offing me will be considered legal.

 

All of this being said is after the matter I experienced. if I have sex I no longer believe I should wear a condom. but also with that being said I would want to be married to the person first so the child looks at life the way I want to be treated. And, I am not everyone else. To put it realistically the King James Bible was orchestrated by King James of England was reportedly openly gay or at least some history books state this. I really wouldn't know since I didn't live back then. if it is true without King James we might not have English written bibles in circulation. So my assumption is that God use any vessel he chooses regardless of their character. One of my favorite top five bible verses and maybe number one favorite bible verse is John 3:16. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever shall believeth in him shall not perish but have everlasting (eternal) life," Nowhere in this particular verse does it condemn anyone regardless of what we consider a sin or might think is a sin to hell and condemnation. My second favorite bible verse Romans 13:8 "Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law." (the real law is considered love and reading Jesus Christ two golden commandments are truth to some) and my third favorite bible verse Ephesians 2:8 "For BY GRACE are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:" These three bibles some up those that believe in a higher power pretty accurately. I consider any religion that doesn't consider Jesus Christ 3:16 God's begotten son a false religion. yes the big three religions Judaism, Christianity, and Islam are the big three Mono-theist religions that stemmed from the biblical lineage of Abraham and Sarah and Abraham and Hagar. and since both Islam and Judaism deny Christ is begotten son of God they and all religions are false for these reasons. And after what I just wrote I still couldn't tell you to believe anything in the bible or Christ. I can hand you a bible and let you decide. After I hand you the bible I pray about you one time after that unless you ask me to continually pray for you. I don't believe repetitious prayer is worded properly to the heavenly powers. sorry wasn't even trying to get to religious on this post. I am trying to stay out of depression by writing all this mumbo jumbo, I know what bible translations say about homosexuality, so I am aloud to avoid that one subject because you don't see me stoning homosexuals. The only thing I am against in the government is I am pro-life. I believe murder is wrong and that is why I consider abortion wrong because that is what I consider it.. Really though it is a woman's body and I am not going to tell a woman what she can or can not do with her body. I pay to God everyday over the abortion issues in the United States and China because I am to weak to rectify these trysting issues so I feel I am just as guilty for not stopping abortion peacefully. Maybe it boils down to money. I wore protection because at the time while I wasn't paralyzed I was having intercourse with young ladies and now I wish I hadn't because I can't have children. so karma has a funny way of biting you in the behind. my angels have comforted me and explained to me that I judge myself to hard. if you do something positive or negative expect the consequences of your actions to catch up with you in all honesty.

 

I was reading an article that was posted two days ago on the interment by a guy who claimed that he is a world leading biochemist geneticists genes specialist. this guy states he is a professor at a major University in this country (state being Georgia) and he claims that pigs and apes are were humans descended from. Well if you study biochemistry and biology and study one or two other subjects that teaches these subjects that you are taught that if you bread a donkey and a horse you get a sterile mule. if you breed a tiger and a lion you get a liger. and this creature is also sterile. plus if a creature in nature is born that doesn't look or act like the mother of the creature born the mother will abandon the offspring that is to young to fend for itself and 99 percent of these youngling creatures die in nature. so according to this own guy's science he is stating something in opinion that is not even plausible according to what geneticists state in science classes at universities (all higher learning facilities) around the world. I just think the United States is dumbing down the society. but this is not a political forum or outlet so please be well marti and that I hope you don't think I was attacking you for your beliefs of how you dictate or live your life.

 

I really didn't look at this as a gay joke to be honest and tell you the truth. my ex wife didn't want it in the rear but my sexual choices and appetite are really no one else's business. I am not running a huge corporation, I am not preaching to a church, and I am not teaching in a school environment so I can say pretty much so what i want unless a wacko decides to off my life. in that case more power to the person because my quality of life is crappy because of my paralysis and paralyzed lifestyle.

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