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Poetry Magnum Opus
badger11

Bull

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badger11

revision2

 

He ordered steak.
Medium or rare?
No blue, he declared,
as if to dare.

No pulse for me,
no ooze of red.
Well done, I said.
I wanted dead.

I taste the burn,
the bullish glare,
that bruising turn
of myopic stare.

 

 

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revision

 

He ordered steak.
Medium or rare?
No blue, he declared,
as if to dare.

No pulse for me,
no ooze of red.
Well done, I said.
I wanted dead.

I felt the burn,
the brutish glare,
that bruising turn
of bullish rage.

 

=====================================================================

 

original

 

He ordered steak.
Medium or rare?
No blue, he declared,
as if to dare.

No pulse for me,
no ooze of red.
Well done, I said.
I wanted dead.

I felt the burn,
the bullish stare,
that bruising turn
of myopic rage.

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tonyv

Tough choice. I loved "myopic" in the original, but the revision seems complete.

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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badger11

'myopic' is back! The extra syllable worried me, but the word was right.

 

all the best

 

badge

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