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dcmarti1

Reading Simenon in August

10 posts in this topic

Smoke from a neighbor's cigarette
Wafts in through my window box fan.
The crickets are silent tonight.
 

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Hi Marti, I like the imagery and I read this like a haiku with too many syllables. I took it literally.   It has the opposing image at the end.  I like it.

I am unfamiliar with Simenon's work and though I googled him I couldn't connect the dots.

Then I read "imagism" in the tag and I was confused.  It isn't like the Imagist poems I am familiar with.  Maybe I'm over thinking this.  Normally I would never ask a poet this but what was the strategy here?  I think you are trying to communicate something that I am missing and I want to understand because I so respect your talent and skill. 

~~Tink

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7 hours ago, Tinker said:

Hi Marti, I like the imagery and I read this like a haiku with too many syllables. I took it literally.   It has the opposing image at the end.  I like it.

I am unfamiliar with Simenon's work and though I googled him I couldn't connect the dots.

Then I read "imagism" in the tag and I was confused.  It isn't like the Imagist poems I am familiar with.  Maybe I'm over thinking this.  Normally I would never ask a poet this but what was the strategy here?  I think you are trying to communicate something that I am missing and I want to understand because I so respect your talent and skill. 

~~Tink

I was actually sitting on my couch and reading a book by Georges Simenon last night. My cottage has no a/c, just a window fan. No motive at all here, but I had listened to an audio CD course earlier and the professor had discussed William Carlos Williams and Ezra Pound. I took a sip of wine (I RARELY drink wine w/o food) and suddenly remembered Pound's:

In a Station of the Metro
 
THE apparition of these faces in the crowd;     
Petals on a wet, black bough.

I am not equalizing mine with Pound's. No "strategy": there's no metaphor, analogy, allusion, etc. I then continued with the novel. (hehe)

 

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Ok so I read it right the first time.  It is a literal translation of your evening.  Sounds peaceful but the smoke would irritate me. Yikes, no AC in Texas?   I don't have it either but where I live right off the coast in the northern hemisphere I really only need it a few day in the year.   

And I am very familiar with Pound's poem.  His 2nd line is a repeat of the first line using a different image.  Your 3rd line isn't the same as the first. It as I said in the beginning more like a long haiku.  

 

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The specifics key the reader into the moment Marti - reading a poem where the poet is reading too:rolleyes:

enjoyed

Phil

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3 hours ago, badger11 said:

The specifics key the reader into the moment Marti - reading a poem where the poet is reading too:rolleyes:

enjoyed

Phil

Thank you, Phil

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10 hours ago, Tinker said:

Ok so I read it right the first time.  It is a literal translation of your evening.  Sounds peaceful but the smoke would irritate me. Yikes, no AC in Texas?   I don't have it either but where I live right off the coast in the northern hemisphere I really only need it a few day in the year.   

And I am very familiar with Pound's poem.  His 2nd line is a repeat of the first line using a different image.  Your 3rd line isn't the same as the first. It as I said in the beginning more like a long haiku.  

 

When I moved back to TX from DC I had an in-law cottage built in the back. Installation of a free standing ac/heat pump would have been problematic. I COULD get a room a/c mounted through the wall and supported by a frame, just haven't yet. I culd get one of those portable, roll-around R2D2 units. I am just lazy. The "big house" has a/c.  hehe

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Posted (edited)

I liked this Haiku even tho not the 17 sylables customary form .  But it had  line 1,  set scene,,2, action  ( the smoke through the open window.)  3,  viewers first thought or response.   Of course 5/7/5  is early 20 century western form.  Original of BASHO  circa 700 B.C.E.   was Japanese.   Short sentence, long sentence,  short sentence.  sylables are no part of Japanese Poetry or language for that matter.    Thats why people are confused by JAPANESE. Haiku dosent have 17 sylables even when translatedinto English.    Also all lower case letters and no punctuation.  original , and I suspect even now  Japanese Haiku Poets use pictographic characters.  I  try to find out.  Terry

Edited by Terry L shuff
thought of more to add

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7 minutes ago, Terry L shuff said:

I liked this Haiku even tho not the 17 sylables customary form .  But it had  line 1,  set scene,,2, action  ( the smoke through the open window.)  3,  viewers first thought or response.   Of course 5/7/5  is early 20 century western form.  Original of BASHO  circa 700 B.C.E.   was Japanese.   Short sentence, long sentence,  short sentence.  sylables are no part of Japanese Poetry or language for that matter.    Thats why people are confused by JAPANESE. Haiku dosent have 17 sylables even when translatedinto English.    

Glad you liked it!

I did not intend for it to ever have the westernized 17 syllables. I just wanted something VERY short. It ended up 8 syllables per line by chance. I had just listened to a short audio lecture on William Carlos Williams.

Welcome to the forum. :)

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Actually I was saying that  Haiku  is difficult to always meet the standard of 5/7/5.  in english. So when I see a poem of 3 line structure,   I dont always assume that was the Authors intent.  Sorry if I incinuated any thing more in my Haiku  comments.  I think   that your poem ....             conveys the  a great snap caption of the the  occurance and your immediate observation mentioned,  reflecting your first thought. Thank you for that  glimse of that moment.        Terry

 

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