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badger11

After the funeral

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revision3

there's a solace to be found
in nakedness lent against
the stone, the altar, the crucifix;
outside the graveyard chatter
of magpies, inside the hum
winged up to buzz - the hexagons
pulse with honey: and we
scorn the lure of prayer,
uncradle those if and buts;
winnow the air of saints -
stain the surplice, fray
a collar to free a flight

of butterflies, our tongues
wet with the broth of living.

 

 

revision2

there's a solace to be found
in nakedness lent against
the stone, the altar, the crucifix;
outside the endless argument
of magpies, inside the hum
winged up to buzz - the hexagons
pulse with honey: and we
scorn the lure of prayer,
uncradle those ifs and buts;
winnow the air of saints -
unwrap cold clothe, fray
a collar of cloud, free
a flight of butterflies, our tongues
wet with the broth of living.

 

 

 

 

revision

there's a solace to be found
in nakedness lent against
the stone, the altar, the crucifix;
outside is only a chatter
of magpies, inside the hum
of us winged up to buzz
within the pulse of hexagons
slick with honey: and so we
evade that lure of  prayer,
uncradle the ifs and buts;
winnow the air of saints -
unwrap a clothe of sky, fray
a collar of cloud to free
a flight of butterflies, our tongues
wet with the broth of living.

 

original

there's a solace to be found
in nakedness lent against
the wall, the door, the mirrors;
backs bent beyond bites - chatter
of magpies outside, the hum
of us wing'd up to buzz
with the pulse of hexagons
slick with honey: and so we
release this lure of lies,
uncradle ifs and buts -
winnow the air of names
in a room without clues,
unwrap a clothe of sky, fray
clouds to free a flight
of butterfly, clear a pond
of toxic bloom, our tongues
wet with the broth of living.

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Hi badge, I keep coming back and reading this and being reluctant to comment because for some reason the poem makes me feel uncomfortable. I continue to look for your revision which is pretty normal for you, hoping I won't feel this way after reading the new version. I can't even put my finger on it. Just wanted you to know I am not ignoring your piece. ~~Tink

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Thanks Tink. Don't worry about replies. Always appreciated, but I have a long record of confusing readers!

best

badge

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