Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus
  • Announcements

    • tonyv

      Registration -- to join PMO ***UPDATED INSTRUCTIONS***   03/14/2017

      Automatic registration has been disabled. If you would like to join the Poetry Magnum Opus online community, use the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of this page and follow these instructions: 1. Check your email (including your spam folder) in a timely fashion for a reply. 2. After you receive a reply, use the "Sign Up" link at the top right corner of the page to create your account. Do this fast. I've lost my patience with people who use the "Contact Us" link to express interest in joining and then don't bother to check their email for a reply and don't bother to join after registration has been enabled. The queue fills up fast with spammers, and I have to spend my time sifting through the rubbish to delete them. The window of opportunity for joining will be short. I will not have my time wasted. If you don't check your email and you don't bother registering promptly, you will find that registration has been disabled and your future requests to join may go ignored. /s/ Tony ___________________ [Registration will only be enabled for a short while from the time your message is received, so please check your email for a reply and register within 12 hours of using the "Contact Us" link. (Be sure to check your spam folder if you don't see a reply to your message.)]
    • tonyv

      IMPORTANT: re Logging In to PMO ***Attention Members***   03/15/2017

      For security purposes, please use your email address when logging in to the site. This will prevent your account from being locked when malicious users try to log in to your account using your publicly visible display name. If you are unable to log in, use the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of the page.
    • tonyv

      Blogs   05/01/2017

      Blogs are now accessible to Guests. Guests may read and reply to blog entries. We'll see how this works out. If Guest participation becomes troublesome, I'll disable Guest access. Members are encouraged to make use of the PMO Members' Promotional Blog to promote their published works. Simply add your latest entry to the blog. Include relevant information (your name or screen name, poem title, periodical name, hyperlink to the site where published, etc). If you have a lot of them and feel you need your own blog, let me know, and I will try to accommodate you. Members are encouraged to continue also posting their promotional topics in the Promotions forum on the board itself which is better suited for archiving promotions.
Sign in to follow this  
Tinker

By the Hunter's Moon

Recommended Posts

By the Hunter's Moon

Country concert, folks having fun.
Warm Vegas night under the stars,
the music played for everyone,
straw hats and boots, led by guitars.
Joining of friends to celebrate.
Three days they played, too soon, goodbye,
cherished the time. Now we all debate,
Why?

First was heard a pop popping sound,
soon bodies dropping, screams, a shout.
Rapid fire bullets abound,
people running round and about
crowds crouched while bullets skipped off dirt,
panic, chaos, fifty eight die.
When done, tears, pain, hundreds more hurt.
Why?
                               ~~Judi Van Gorder


 

A Canzonetta

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There will be a day of reckoning for evil to be punished. There will be a time of everlasting love and peace for those who believe in HIM; our Saviour.

During that time of reckoning... Satan...who controls the weak, and those who follow him causing these acts of horror, will know a punishment they could never dream of.

Today there is a battle of GOOD and EVil going on. We do have the opportunity to change many things, but man with his weak wisdom, is enjoying too many of the plentiful things that abound in our lives, that are beginning to control us, rather that we control them. It is difficult to think it can happen, but our greatness in what we term progress, will eventually overcome us all.

 59d6d4b91345e_WritingTable.gif.a9f8c4b83492218a411831d9ac06266a.gif

Dabbler

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes Yarn Spinner, Evil is alive and well.  Thanks for reading my poem.

Sorry subject is still too fresh. Fodder for writing Verse Form examples. I'm like the news shows on TV repeating and repeating.

Route 91 Harvest Festival

Three day venue of fun,
down home western music
blares from concert stage
where three thousand gather
to listen to country stars.
Finale just begun.

Popping sounds intervene
rapid sound from a gun

Fans crouched in the darkness
bullets skipped off the ground,
ricocheted into the crowd.
Chaos, panic and pain,
hundreds running, wounded.
Fifty eight dead tonight.

High up across the way,
coward leaves no insight.
               ~~Judi Van Gorder

A L'Arora

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

TInker, I know this poem is still in progress. I am trying to read your thoughts, to figure out between the versions, the choice of diction, the imagery being described. The heart of your poem actually starts from the second stanza. Maybe your mind is not yet set how you want to tell the story whether as an emotion-less observer or like someone-in-the-midst of things. In other words, the point of view or persona.

If I may suggest, you may want to play on the sound of the loud speakers, popping country tunes, human body animation, versus the second popping heard, human body animation (falling), and zoom in with one scene and re-create surprise or shock if the persona is I-am-here POV. 

Just some thoughts to figure out how you want to say your piece.

 

  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Joel,  you are right on the point of view.  I like your suggestions about focusing on the sounds.  I will continue to play with this. 

~~Tink

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.