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Poetry Magnum Opus
badger11

After

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badger11

revised

I wonder at the quiet.
Is this all mine? I ask.

Of course, there is no other.
No voice comes to mind.

I wander in the quiet.
Is this all mine? I ask.

Of course, there are no others.
A thought coming to mind.

I wither in this quiet.
Will there be others? I ask.

A thought leaving no other.
The quiet gathers my mind.

 

 

original

I wonder at the quiet.
Is this all mine? I ask.

Of course, there is no other.
No voice comes to mind.

I wander in the quiet.
Is this all mine? I ask.

Of course, there are no others.
A thought coming to mind.

I wither in this quiet.
Will there be others? I ask.

A thought leaving my mind.
I wonder at the quiet.

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tonyv

Some subtleties in these two versions. I'm waiting to see if you tweak these some more. The title drew me in.

Tony

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badger11

Thanks Tony. I do have a habit of revising:smile: 

best

Phil

 

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