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badger11

Backache

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badger11

revision

I hear the buzz of bluebottles
bebop their frenzy round the bloom
of overflowing bins. You press
your thumb along my vertebrae,
unknot inventive anagrams
beneath the skin. Charts on a wall
map your intent. You hold my head
and twist the neck, that crack aligns
the spine. A saxophone plays on
my wanton bones. You knead. I ache.
I hear the jazz of bluebottles.

 

 

 

original

I hear the buzz of bluebottles
bebop their frenzy round a braid
of overflowing bins. You thumb
your blues along my vertebrae,
unknot inventive anagrams
beneath the skin. You hold my head
and twist the neck, that crack aligns
the spine. A saxophone plays on.
You map my back. You knead. I ache.
I hear the jazz of bluebottles.

 

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tonyv

Yes, "bluebottle" is slightly removed from my vernacular, and that's why it's appealing. Coincidentally, this is the second time recently that I've encountered similar terms. In "Pierce Street" Gunn uses "bluefly."

I prefer the revision.

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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badger11

Thanks for the thumbs up Tony.

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