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badger11

Beyond the dry stone wall

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badger11

revision

Her laconic neighbour
uproots a mound of wildflowers.
He buries bulbs
within a copestone circle,
gritting the soil
so they will not rot
in wet. He empties
his glass after digging.
This slow labour his way
to root what can't be said.

She cleans the kitchen
window: finger smudges,
lettering, a smiley face,
runic codes, blemishes
of rain that stutter
intent. Beneath the sink
she hoards the pot
of gathered seeds.
He told her that saxifraga
means "stone-breaker".

 

 

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original

Her laconic neighbour
uproots a mound of wildflowers.
He buries bulbs
within a copestone circle,
gritting the soil
so they do not rot.

She cleans the kitchen
window: finger smudges,
codes, letters, blemishes
of rain that stutter
intent. She hoards her bag
of saxifrage seeds.

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tonyv

Another pleasurable read. The poem delivers that village feel, where everyone knows everyone else's business, whether scandal or mundanity, right down to gardening habits.

Tony

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tonyv
5 hours ago, badger11 said:

Thanks Tony. The poem that prompted this write:

https://allpoetry.com/A-Sort-Of-A-Song

Thanks, Phil. You know I'm always excited to get the background info, sources of inspiration, etc. on poems and all works of art. :biggrin::-8)

@Tinker just made a topic in the Member Archive where members can post footnotes to their works if they so desire. (I'll post an announcement for it -- Thank you, Judi!)

Tony

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Tinker

Hi Badge,  Your revision easily could join the ranks of WCW in depth and communicating thoughts through things.  I love it and want to emulate it.  You have become the inspiration.  

~~Tink  

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