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revision3

My old teacher, telling lewd jokes
to mallards, wears a feathered hat.
The sign says 'Do not feed the ducks'
but didactics don't change overnight.
 

 

 

revision2

 

My old teacher, telling lewd jokes
to mallards, wears a feathered hat.
The sign says 'Do not feed the ducks'
but life does not change overnight
for him. He shares. I let him be.

 

 

revision

My old teacher, telling lewd jokes
to mallards, wears a feathered hat.
The sign says ' do not feed the ducks'
but life does not change overnight.

 

 

original

My old teacher, telling lewd jokes
to mallards, wears a feathered hat.
The sign says ' do not feed the ducks'
but life does not change overnight.

It does, of course, though their laughter
sounds so human. It reminds me
to let her be. A breaded flock
gathered her flight of licentious joy.

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Ahh badgeeer, how nice to read your poetry again. And as always, this was an amazing poem. I loved the opening of the poem, the first verse. And then as always such an amazing flow.

Great job!

 

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Glad to see you around Aleks! And enjoying badgery poetry! I think I'll cut S2.

all the best

badge

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As a fan of short poems, I do like the path the revisions have taken. I'm torn between Revision 2 and Revision 3. I like five lines in the former and can appreciate the desire to condense in the latter. What about something like this:
 

My old teacher, telling lewd jokes
to mallards, wears a feathered hat.
The sign says 'Do not feed the ducks'
but life does not change overnight
for him … or me.

 

Just a thought. Almost all my own poems go down this road.

Tony

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