The Thread of Dreams

[Tinker]

The Thread of Dreams

Poetry strokes the silken threads of dreams,
exposes sleeping fears
from sirens wailing mournful tones. It streams
the taste of salty tears.

Writing vibrant words to stain the brain,
kaleidoscopic guise
and wafting scents of roses after rain
the poet's endmost prize.
                     ~~ Judi Van Gorder

Notes: ▼

[Gatekeeper]

When I opened your piece I did not have my "screen" glasses on and I read it fuzzily as "The Threat of Dreams".

So, here is my version, not precisely to form, having made a slight shift.

 

The Threat of Dreams

The threat of dreams that come in the night
that carry you off     alone
there set you on an unknown stage of fright
and sound a malevolent tone

 may have instead a different shape
 and be at once contrary
which would be a place for your escape
where you might wish to tarry

 

Gatekeeper

[Tinker]

Haha Gatekeeper, I love when something I wrote sparks a poetic reaction.   You even attempted the form though to be true to the form L1 and L3 of each stanza is iambic pentameter with the first line of each stanza leading with a trochee.  But you got the frame and rhyme right.   Love it!

~~Tink

[tonyv]

There's a uniquely pleasing effect present in this poem. It's like the cinematic technique where a scene with most characters is shot mostly in black and white yet one character, perhaps a woman, is included with some color, for example a red dress. The first six lines are in a silvery grayscale, lines seven and eight inject the burst of color: the red roses. And with the rain I can almost smell them. Lovely.

Tony