Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus
dcmarti1

Redundant

Recommended Posts

dcmarti1

On a narrow porch in Texas,
Four decades after his departure,
Not even the ghosts have remained
To trespass in empty, damaged houses.

Four decades after his departure,
His mind purposes only three:
The idyllic childhood of trees and bikes
Falling short for agendas and manifests.

Not even the ghosts have remained;
The ghost of his blacksmith great grandfather,
Who shoed the horses of the timber baron,
And whose marker is sunken and crooked.

To trespass in empty, damaged houses,
To trespass the vacant elementary,
To trespass the auctioned-off junior high:
Pranks would be criminally redundant

On a narrow porch in Texas.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tinker

Wow, two gems in a row.  Nice to see you've picked up the pen again Marti.  Keep these coming.

This one makes me so curious but I can see the abandoned arena, houses, schools. Who is "he"? No, I'm not asking you, I'm asking me. A forlorn feeling emanates.  I love the inclusion of the blacksmith great grandfather, taking us back to a more vibrant time. 

The repetition punctuates the scene.  Really nice.  

~~Tink


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dcmarti1
5 minutes ago, Tinker said:

Wow, two gems in a row.  Nice to see you've picked up the pen again Marti.  Keep these coming.

This one makes me so curious but I can see the abandoned arena, houses, schools. Who is "he"? No, I'm not asking you, I'm asking me. A forlorn feeling emanates.  I love the inclusion of the blacksmith great grandfather, taking us back to a more vibrant time. 

The repetition punctuates the scene.  Really nice.  

~~Tink

Thank you for the kind analysis.

He, of course, is me. Tried to not use first person. 🙂

The "timber baron" here did have an extensive family business, and the manor home (gorgeous, but NOT that large by mansion standards) was a museum until 2 years ago. I worked for the foundation as a docent for 2 years before it closed. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
tonyv

What resonates most for me are the ghosts, specifically their "trespassing" in "empty, damaged houses." Such houses and their ghosts are a significant source of inspiration when I consider the image and the poem I have featured on PMO's home page, and when I recall massive parts of Detroit, as portrayed in Eminem's music video for his "Beautiful" (warning -- explicit). I think of all these places, of what once was, that "vacant elementary" and that "auctioned off junior high." I think of that "narrow porch in Texas," with the nearby "sunken and crooked" "marker," and countless others like them, both porches and markers. Sorry about all the quotes in this reply; there's too much good in this haunting poem that really can't be expressed any better. I love it.

Tony

PS -- the title is perfect and reinforces the points I'm trying to express.


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dcmarti1
12 hours ago, tonyv said:

What resonates most for me are the ghosts, specifically their "trespassing" in "empty, damaged houses." Such houses and their ghosts are a significant source of inspiration when I consider the image and the poem I have featured on PMO's home page, and when I recall massive parts of Detroit, as portrayed in Eminem's music video for his "Beautiful" (warning -- explicit). I think of all these places, of what once was, that "vacant elementary" and that "auctioned off junior high." I think of that "narrow porch in Texas," with the nearby "sunken and crooked" "marker," and countless others like them, both porches and markers. Sorry about all the quotes in this reply; there's too much good in this haunting poem that really can't be expressed any better. I love it.

Tony

PS -- the title is perfect and reinforces the points I'm trying to express.

Thank you for the very kind analysis. It seems that frustration can be as beneficial a muse as happiness. 😉

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
badger11

I enjoyed this too Marti. A sense of place and change. The use of repetitions were effective. There is an engaging flow in the writing.

best

Phil

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dcmarti1
10 hours ago, badger11 said:

I enjoyed this too Marti. A sense of place and change. The use of repetitions were effective. The is an engaging flow in the writing.

best

Phil

So glad you enjoyed it an connected. Place and change, indeed. Thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dcmarti1
On 4/2/2019 at 2:40 PM, dr_con said:

Yes! Really appreciated the sense of place, loss and yet continuity framed by the porch. Absolutely loved it. TY Marti!

 

Juris

Thanks, Juris, as always.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.