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eclipse

Earth's sleeping sky is left like

a child in a bedroom-the receding
planet is like a tattooists needle.
I have an iceberg in my mouth
containing my former selves from
planet earth. Planets drink their own
wine, Heaven and I wear the same
blindfold. This rocket is like a hole
cut out of a magic carpet. In the silence
I can hear Gods feet dancing on grapes.

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Tinker
15 hours ago, eclipse said:
In the silence
I can hear Gods feet dancing on grapes.

The last line is really nice Barry, although I think it should be "God's".   I have to admit some of the other images are rather confusing and a bit disjointed to me.   But that is just me, I am having trouble wrapping my brain this one. 

~~Tink


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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eclipse

are you familiar with this:

 

In a notorious and influential letter of May 15, 1871, to his publisher-friend Paul Demeny, the sixteen-year-old provincial high-school dropout, Arthur Rimbaud, boldly defined his vision of poetic creativity:

The Poet makes himself a seer by a long, gigantic and rational derangement of all the senses. All forms of love, suffering, and madness. He searches himself. He exhausts all poisons in himself and keeps only their quintessences. Unspeakable torture where he needs all his faith, all his superhuman strength, where he becomes among all men the great patient, the great criminal, the one accursed—and the supreme Scholar!—Because he reaches the unknown! Since he cultivated his soul, rich already, more than any man! He reaches the unknown, and when, bewildered, he ends by losing the intelligence of his visions, he has seen them. Let him die as he leaps through unheard of and unnamable things.1

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Tinker

 Barry, I had not previously read this, but I agree with it.  I think this defines well some of your images.  I was not diminishing the creativity of your poem in my comment, I just was saying I couldn't connect,  even though I found beauty in some of your images.  You don't have to defend your work,  I was simply expressing my reaction.     

~~Tink


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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tonyv

I don't think there's a word out of place in this poem, and that includes its perfect title. Very much enjoyed.

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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