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pawn shop

PROSE THING " Let's Try That Place "

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pawn shop

Lisa

She's 'almost' 20 years old

a bi-sexual

I'm 23 years older than her

and quite frankly,not interested

A phone call here and there

A letter here and there

nothing major

 

Mary shakes her head

"What's wrong with these kids"

and hands me back Lisa's most recent letter

 

We drain our drinks at the same time

and motion for another round

"What" ?

"another round please"

"oh, o.k"

 

"Check this text message out from Julie"

I hand Mary the small silver phone

....."oh God"........

shakes her head

and hands back the phone

 

"Stay clear of them. I'm telling you".

 

"I am "

 

"Good"

 

The chinese barmaid

places new drinks infront of us

turns her back

and channel surfs the television

Someone at a crowded table wanted another scorpion bowl.

"This place is kinda nice"

"Not bad for a Friday night"

I lean over and whisper

while motioning my head forwards

"I bet she knows Judo"

 

" I wouldn't be surprised "

 

" Steven rang my buzzer today

.....and you know the sound that that makes"

Mary imitates the sound and laughs.

" I didn't open the door.

He got inside the building though

and came upstairs and knocked on my door....

( I knock on the bar counter )

this is 8 minutes after getting home from work

........and I was sitting on the toilet whistling dixie...

wanted to know if I had a cigerette

I didn't open the door

looked at him through the peep hole.....

told him no...he turned away with his head hung low"

 

Mary shook her head

and with a slight smile

took a sip from her drink

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tonyv

I like it, pawn shop. To some this could be prose, but to me it's a poem. I like how you establish the setting of the Chinese restaurant:

The chinese barmaid

places new drinks infront of us

turns and channel surfs the television

Someone at a crowded table wanted another scorpion bowl.

... and how you set the tone of the evening with examples of the small talk:

"This place is kinda nice"

"Not bad for a Friday night"

I lean over and whisper

while motioning my head forwards

"I bet she knows Judo"

I like this poem a lot. I'm wondering if you wrote it from memory, or did you have your notebook there on the bar while you were writing it? Very well done ...

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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pawn shop

Wrote it from memory. I've been reading Bukowski and trying his style of presentation.

I wrote it pretty much in an hour. True story, obviously.

I figure I'd write real life moments for a few....and try to get my writing desire back.

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Aleksandra

pawn shop wrote:

 

I figure I'd write real life moments for a few....and try to get my writing desire back.

 

I am glad to read this. And I am sure you will get all your writing desire back.

 

This poem I like it. Nice poem and so real

 

ALeksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Tinker

Hi Jonathan, This poem is very NOW! Your muse has changed hats but is still hanging around, text messaging inspiration. I like the new Jonathan.

 

~~Tink


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Jalfrezi

it is my humble opinion that the divide between the spoken language and the written language has become too great

 

storytelling is one of the roots of the written language

essentially, capturing the words of the story teller

 

-UTB

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Bloodyday

This is an experiment, simply a successful experiment, and of course i wanna anticipate!

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