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  1. Today
  2. Ode to My Left Hand

    Thank you all for indulging my pity party. Surgery was Monday and I have 3 new screws put into my bones to hold them together and I'm now wearing what seems like a 50 lb cast on my hand. Drugs are wearing off and it hurts. But I have gotten a lot of poetic miles out of the incident. ~~Tink Cross Limerick
  3. Ode to My Left Hand

    I feel your pain, waiking in the morning is a level 7, on pain scale , stooping down means ,my wife must help me up. I'am just thankful, I'am still stunningly handsome ......NOT.oh yea, fingers hit keys ,when they want too. shake like Elvis did. Hang in there Tink, better days are coming.
  4. Ode to My Left Hand

    Really like these two poems that make a refreshing change from reading relationship poems of the young. I'm beginning to feel like Steve Austin as I keep having artificial parts fitted. Still... there's always someone worse off. Stay well G
  5. Ode to My Left Hand

    Oh, what we take for granted, until . . . Arthritic pain in the saddle-bones at the base of my thumbs sings that song now - just trying to open a sealed jar. There must be a poem in that somewhere - maybe a senryu or a tonka . . . Hope you heal well, tho I know that can be difficult in the "winter" of our days.
  6. Haiku Train - catch it - free tickets

    Doe grazes below fattening for next spring's twins Camouflage of spots
  7. Yesterday
  8. Puerto Rico Puerto Rico

    Puerto Rico, Puerto Rico Have you survived the storm ? The huricanes,The huricanes no mercy do they show. We ask eternai question What have we done wrong ? Don't blame yourselves,it's no ones fault nor punishment from God. Time and unforeseen occurance I've learned be falls us all. Prayers are the saving hope Prayers for our souls.
  9. Haiku Journal / Share Your Haiku Here

    2017 jvg #59 icy cold room masked faces loom hand gets three new screws
  10. Hi David, Please delete the single tag with space, paean etc  then tag each word separately.  Tags don't link up unless they are exactly the same so if someone tagged their poem simply space, it wouldn't link to your poem because your tag as it is also has paean etc.  Hop I'm making sense.  Typing with one hand is the pits

    ~~Tink

  11. Last week
  12. church bells

    I will keep that in mind.
  13. a/the

    Very much enjoyed your response Tony, which clearly reflects what you consider the primary characteristic of poetry. Musicality is certainly a primary reason why I read poetry. best badge
  14. church bells

    Terry, I too apologize if I sounded critical of your poem. The poem always comes first, form second. Joel makes that point perfectly with that last quote. And we all follow that here. My initial response didn't suggest you correct your poem. But you had said to me one of the reasons you came here was to learn and you were open to information. I added my note about gerunds simply as a piece of information. ~~Tink
  15. Belshazzar

    Joel, Wow, These are very intense. Very real. Very scary. Ancient history that actually brought to mind contemporary names, Mugabe popped in my head. Form Just a note: haiku, you use lots of articles that are used minimally in haiku, but then again, eliminating them changes the tone, and that I would not mess with. #2 L2 typo or is there a reason for "lits" instead of "lights"? The poem comes first. Form second. Very effective, emotionally charge poems. ~~Tink
  16. First Responder

    Joel, I Iooked for your poem here and couldn't find it. I'd love to read it. Post it please. ~~Tink
  17. First Responder

    Thanks Geoff, As I just replied to Joel, First Responders are near and dear to my heart. My son, an investigator for Riverside Sheriff Dept was involved, last year in a very scary event where swat was called in. They were on a routine "knock and talk" and the guy greeted them with a shotgun then barricaded himself in the house. The whole thing got very intense very quickly with back up called and cops arriving, all with guns drawn, yelling and positioning waiting for swat. My son had arrested this guy before and knew him , he walked around to the side of the house during this chaos and could partially see the guy through a side window and called out to him, identifying himself and actually talked the guy out without incident. He received an accommodation. Proud Mama. Also two friend's of my son's who practically grew up in my home are firemen. One, just returned from search and rescue deployment to Houston and on the drive home with the equipment caravan, still in Texas they got turned around and sent to Orlando. It is not just a job, it's a calling. ~~Tink
  18. Belshazzar

    shadows on the river- marching army trounces the full-moon. on the gate, moon lits the boots of thousand soldiers. from the throne, host-king falls over meat and wine. Trying my hand with haiku :-)
  19. First Responder

    Tinker, my poem "Of dust, paper, and steel" celebrates them too in the lines where I refer to them as "the brave" "Here, the brave races to a black door, to enter into white, undefined spaces where no sound escapes, no colors are seen, no memories of black smoke and the weight of onrushing ground." Thanks for the education on the forms.
  20. church bells

    Terry, take it as a recommendation and not an imposition. I apologize if it sounded like one. I also have copies of Basho, Buson, and Issa with English translations. I have also read about the flexibility of the Japanese language for haiku compared to English. In fact, some advocate an equivalent 3-5-3 English versions factoring in the difference of the languages in generating meaning. In fact, I don't follow rigidly the 5-7-5 format. I think I could even improve my original suggestion by following the 3-5-3 format Bells ring loud, Sunlight flashes on empty pews. One article wrote below "In languages such as English and its relatives whose grammars are heavily dependent on word order, haiku must and will take a much different form from that in Japanese. By concerning ourselves too much with the outward form of haiku, we can lose sight of its essence." Have a nice day, Terry.
  21. First Responder

    Thanks Joel, I hadn't consciously thought of my poem in the genre of a List or Catalogue poem but you are right. I was attempting to write an example of a verse form, a Mukhammas. The original form was used to write Praise poems of an Iman or holy man. The subject has been has expanded since then but in demonstrating the form I felt some of the original intent of the form should be brought forward in any contemporary poem. Counting lines and syllables and adding specific rhyme is not all that the ancient forms offer us. They have a history that shouldn't be lost. I have a great respect for first responders, I married one and gave birth to one. Besides the love I have for them, I've seen first hand the dangers and sacrifices they've braved for others. I definitely wouldn't call them holy men. ~~smile~~ But they are good men worthy of respect and often unappreciated.
  22. First Responder

    A topical theme with concise imagery that works for me.. A recognition of our emergency services, whose wide ranging duties are so often taken for granted.
  23. Cassini Spacecraft: A Paean

    Fascinating subject matter dealt with in an intelligent and entertaining way. Coincides with my reading of Dan Brown's "Deception Point" ; which although fictional, contains various allusions to the political, practical and secretive vested interests. Much food for thought as I recall how Carl Sagan said that practical space travel for humans, is as far in our future as Columbus is in the past.
  24. church bells

    i was pointing out that original Basho did not have sylables, or puncutation. those were contrivances of caucaution poets that could not correctly translate japanese into english.with the same sense, and nuances,true with all languages. The Basho Haiku was short sentence,long sentence,short sentence. setting,action,.result. my poem shows an overlapping scene as the result.its my choice to use original or westernized form,or to condense farther or not. I find it peculiar that the english translators established a fixed number of sylables,for correct translating. and now hold hope everyone will think.this is the correct form.many new poets do not know the original form,or who Basho is. this is what the westeren world does. saying things like a false sense of urgency. poetry is from the heart, yes we want to stay true to form, many Basho poems are varied in the 3rd line .but opinions are like noses,everyone has one .lets remember,the message is the purpose of poetry. Joel you know what the western world did to the Bible. The poetry in each Bible translation language is worded differently,but they are true to the paralleslism,and the message, so a minute variation is not enough to take issue,in my opinion i am following Basho format. I know you and Tink are helping,with good motive,but please allow acceptable variations and not personal preferences.
  25. First Responder

    This is a nice example of a list poem for me but the way your lines were physically laid out created some tension that mirror the content.
  26. Cassini Spacecraft: A Paean

    David, I enjoyed reading it through to the end. The narrative and the philosophical mixed gently in a lyrical way.
  27. church bells

    Terry, I got your message with this piece. If this were not haiku, it is fine. But, it appears you are trying to do a haiku unless I am mistaken. Judi's tip will help in that direction. As a suggestion, create two images that paint an overlapping scene. Here is one suggestion how that can be created using your idea Church bells ring loud, Sunday sunlight flashes on empty pews.
  28. church bells

    Its not a false sence of urgency. Morning is a time of day. And the bells are ringing . Thats an observation , not a technically. Sometimes the message in poetry is important. Grammer teachers and english literature teachers fell in to that same trap. " The HEART OF THE POET has gone to school "maybe Bruce has a false sence of poetry.
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