• Announcements

    • tonyv

      Registration -- to join PMO   03/14/2017

      Automatic registration has been disabled. If you would like to join the Poetry Magnum Opus online community, use the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of this page.
    • tonyv

      IMPORTANT: re Logging In to PMO ***Attention Members***   03/15/2017

      For security purposes, please use your email address when logging in to the site. This will prevent your account from being locked when malicious users try to log in to your account using your publicly visible display name. If you are unable to log in, use the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of the page.
Tinker

Shell Beach Ballet

9 posts in this topic

Shell Beach Ballet

The grey whale feeds,
performing
as if aware we watch,
her set the sea.
She shifts stage left, stage right,
breaking the surging surface
with the power and grace of Baryshnikov,
her rise and descent
in cadence
with the swells.

Her blow
marks the meter
while the putrid stench
from the spray
recalls her mission.

In a water dance staged
against the horizon
she arches
ready to dive,
pauses,
elevates her tail high
into the air
and hangs . . . .suspended,
then slices the plane of the sea.
--------------- --Judi Van Gorder

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Tink,

You poem took me googling for Baryshnikov and in the context of this Foundation's experimental dance and artistic programs, your images of the grey whale commanding the waves in energetic dance-like movements, work very well.

The dramatic effect you describe here is superb, both in the visuals you create and in your use of language:

 

...she arches
ready to dive,
pauses,
elevates her tail high
into the air
and hangs . . . .suspended,
then slices the plane of the sea.
--------------- --Judi Van Gorder



Thank you for a wonderfully vivid and enjoyable read.



goldenlangur

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you gl, whale watching is an annual event here, they are awesome creatures. This particular moment occurred at Shell Beach near my home, where I had taken my son to collect shells at low tide. There was a whale feeding right off shore, she was so close we could see the barnacles on her and smell her blow (like rotting fish). She put on a show for us I will never forget, nor will my son and he was only 5 at the time.

 

~~Tink

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tink, as golden says, this is so vivid poem. And sounds so artistic and so nice. I loved how this part goes:

 

In a water dance staged

against the horizon

she arches

ready to dive,

pauses,

elevates her tail high

into the air

and hangs . . . .suspended,

then slices the plane of the sea.

 

wonderful write Tinker. Much enjoyed.

 

Aleksandra

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Tinker,

 

I like how the title contains a local reference. Comparing the whale's activities to ballet makes an accurate metaphor, and the mention of meter in the second strophe is clever. I myself like the last line:

 

... then slices the plane of the sea.

 

Enjoyable imagery in this one!

 

Tony

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi aleks, Thank you so much, I am glad you enjoyed it. The whale is an inspiring creature.

Hi Tony, I appreciate your comments which help me a great deal, since the poem is right now in surgery being rewritten. One of the areas I thought to change but after your comment, I question is, I was going to change the title to Grey Whale Ballet, and remove the 1st 3 lines. Now I am rethinking it. This writing stuff isn't easy. :wub:

~~Tink

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lovely piece of work Tink captures the grace of life in one of natures giants. B.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you Benjamin, my poem is a little more pleasant memory of these animals than your Back Home but you round out the life cycle. We each have a part.

 

~~Tink

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good resurrection by Benjamin. Beautifully described slice of your life Tink, takes you there. Frank

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now