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11 posts in this topic

In My Dotage

 

I often wondered if life held big things for me,

by some standards it has. By mine it was just my life,

events and surroundings met with choices.

Choices, ah there is the key, the only thing

I could control. But even then some were good

some not so good and in the end they were all

part of the journey. You've heard all of this before.

 

Nothing so profound, just common sense,

these ramblings of mine are no new revelation.

Would I make changes if I could go back?

My first thought is, of course… then I remember

it would have changed my passage and I would miss

what came after. Oh no, I wouldn't want to miss

what came after. No, not a moment of it.

-------------------- -- Judi Van Gorder

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This is an intriguing and unexpected sonnet, Tinker. At first, I thought "dotage" was a bit harsh for characterizing one's own state of mind, yet even the method in which the speaker analyzes her own life and self seems, at first, to correspond with that label. But then, upon further reflection, her seemingly meandering path resolves into a moment of lucidity. It's unlikely that someone senile could come to such logical conclusions, and thus, the "dotage" is seen in more of a metaphorical light.

 

It's nice to have choices. I'm not sure that there always are.

 

Tony

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Hi Tony, Thanks for reading and commenting. I started writing this to provide my own example of an Unrhymed Sonnet, but it just seemed to flow once I got going. One of the easier poems I have written, it just spilled out. And hopefully I am not in my "dotage" yet but sometimes stuff like this pops into my head and I am certainly approaching it. ~~smile~~

 

I guess it was inspired by a conversation I had with 2 friends yesterday, One is celebrating her 40th wedding anniversary this month, the other has been married 47 years and I've been married 46 years. The others were married right after graduating from high school, I was the oldest to get married at 22. We were talking about the Gore divorce... and one of them threw out the question "If you could go back, would you remarry your husband?" Interestingly we all hesitated.

 

As for choices, yes I believe there are always choices, they may not be what we would wish them to be and some are harder to make than others but there are always choices. Events and surroundings may not be changeable although sometimes they can be, but how we react to them is where the choices come in.

 

~~Tink

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Hi Tinker,

 

I feel so glad to read this. The content is not what you normally write as I remember imagery is what you love to write about. This one is more on the thought but it flows just as smoothly as your other poems. It is easily read and deeply felt. Full of wisdom. It is a sonnet, but it is not restricted by the form at all. What a natural flow of thought.

 

Regards,

 

Lake

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I can only agree with the above Tinker- really an exceptional work of depth pitch perfect!

 

DC&J

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Hi Tink,

 

A 7 7 sonnet with a reflective but contemporary tone. These lines are wonderfully resonant:

 

... then I remember

it would have changed my passage and I would miss

what came after. Oh no, I wouldn't want to miss

what came after. No, not a moment of it.

 

 

Thank you.

Edited by goldenlangur

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The turn happened at 'what came after'. It's a pleasant phrase to meet unexpectedly in the lines.

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Hi Lake, I guess it is a departure from my norm, everything changes sometimes slower than other times. But I have no intention of abandonning more concrete imagery in my work, I just seem to be struggling for images to write about. At least in a manner I think would be interesting. ::(

 

Wow D_C, Thank you! I guess when we get in our dotage, depth comes with the territory. :))

 

Hi gl, Nice to hear from you. Yes, the last lines made the whole poem worth the time to write. Until then I wasn't sure what direction my ramblings were going to take me. Nothing profound, nothing new, but truth none the same. :icon_sunny:

 

Hi Joel, Isn't it funny how a phrase will just take over a poem. I didn't deliberately place the phrase "what came after" where I did, nor did I deliberately repeat it in exactly the same place in the next line, it just happened. But if I had been plotting placement for impact it is exactly what I would have done. Maybe my writing instincts are finally catching up with what I have so long studied. :party on: Thanks for noticing.

 

~~Tink

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hi tinker i do this all the time in my respones to poems LOL. i just ramble on and a word i never heard before is dotage. many thanks. much enjoyed.

 

victor

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In My Dotage

 

I often wondered if life held big things for me.

By some standards it has. By mine, it was just my life,

events and surroundings met with choices.

Choices, ah there is the key, the only thing ~~~~~~~~~~~~ I really like the way this interjection fits.

I could control. But even then, some were good,

some not so good, and, in the end, they were all

part of the journey. You've heard all of this before.

 

Nothing so profound, just common sense,

these ramblings of mine are no new revelations.

Would I make changes, if I could go back?

My first thought is, of course…. Then I remember

it would have changed my passage, and I would miss

what came after. Oh no, I wouldn't want to miss

what came after. No, not a moment of it.

-------------------- -- Judi Van Gorder

 

Most excellent diction in the last stanza, and the sentiment is unmistakablu true and universal.

 

The first stanza could stand some softening to be as likeable. Part of is breaking the fragments, images of meaning by commas, but the one thing that bothers me is the more mechanistic, cold (sic) to me, term standards. I would prefer measures or goals or something like that instead. I put in some commas not all of which are necessarily syntactically proper. See what you make of them.

 

All in al, it is to me a poem of huge significance.

Edited by waxwings

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Wow, Tink. This is a very natural poem, and it seems you wrote it with ease. I love these kinds of poems. They read fast and are full or poetical power, wisdom, and quality. I am usually a person with lots of regrets :). There is always something for which I blame myself :). But yes, your message is right at the top :). An amazing poem ... also a sonnet! - Wonderful.

 

Aleksandra

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