• Announcements

    • tonyv

      Registration -- to join PMO   03/14/2017

      Automatic registration has been disabled. If you would like to join the Poetry Magnum Opus online community, use the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of this page.
    • tonyv

      IMPORTANT: re Logging In to PMO ***Attention Members***   03/15/2017

      For security purposes, please use your email address when logging in to the site. This will prevent your account from being locked when malicious users try to log in to your account using your publicly visible display name. If you are unable to log in, use the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of the page.

10 posts in this topic

~~ The Flutterby Rose ~~ Flutterby1.jpg

 

Path to Stillness

 

"Be still and know I am God."

Psalms 46:10

Framed by glossy

leaves dipped in Merlot,

the corolla curves like the flounce

at the bottom of a prom gown.

And from the sculpted flutters,

edged with a brush of crimson,

shadows and swells wash

from mustard to pale sunshine.

A smear of red stains the back

of one imperfect petal as if a pricked finger

had reached out and stroked

its buttery surface.

At the hub golden nubs

spread open releasing a gentle sweetness

in invitation

to the stillness I seek.

-------------------------------~Flutterby Rose~ Flutterby2.jpg

Flutterby Rose (original)

 

"Be still and know I am God."

Psalms 46:10

Edged with a brush of crimson,

the corolla curves like the flounce

at the bottom of a prom gown

and from the sculpted flutters,

shadows and wells deepen

from ripe yellow to subdued ochre.

A smear of red, stains the back

of one imperfect petal as if a pricked finger

had reached out and stroked

its soft surface.

A faint fresh scent floats gently

in seductive invitation

and tiny pistils with golden nubs

spread open to their center.

Framed by glossy green leaves dipped in wine,

in this moment, it is my path to stillness.

-- Judi Van Gorder

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What lovely imagery! The corolla (had to look that one up icon_smile.gif )/prom dress similie delights, and this part makes quite and impact:

From the sculpted flutters,

shadows and wells deepen

from ripe yellow to subdued ochre,

a smear of red stains the back

of an imperfect petal as if a pricked finger

had reached out and stroked

its soft perimeter
.

The ending makes it personal:

Framed by glossy green leaves, dipped in wine,

in the moment, this is my path to stillness,

and the epigraph supplements the poem perfectly by alluding to the source of the beauty.

 

Next to your Solitaire poem, this one is also another favorite of mine. Very fine work!

 

Tony icon_smile.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Tony, Thank you for getting this in its roughest state. I have been working on the rewrite and took some photos this morning. Unfortunately the rose I used for the poem had wilted by the time I thought to take a photo and there aren't many open blossoms on the bush right now so I couldn't duplicate the poem's rose, but I got a couple of shots even though I am not the greatest photographer. I am glad you liked it.

 

~~Tink

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Tinker,

 

Funny that you mention including a photo. I was going to say, after my first quick read, that I thought an included photo would be nice (like I did with my Crocus poem on the old site). But upon my second (closer) read, I came to the conclusion that this poem is so vivid a photo was not necessary, so I omitted that part in my comment.

 

These lines are perfect, and anyone who has ever looked closely at a similar flower (the iris come to mind) knows exactly what you mean:

a smear of red stains the back

of an imperfect petal as if a pricked finger

had reached out and stroked

its soft perimeter.

But thank you for including the picture nonetheless. It's a nice supplement to the poem.

 

Tony

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tinker very soft poem. Together with the photos ( they are soo nice ) makes a composition completely.

 

The revised version works better for me. And the expression Path to Stillness sounds wonderful. I loved.

 

The ending part goes so well and the last line hits and it is perfect end:

 

Tiny pistils with golden nubs

spread open to their center

and a faint scent floats gently

in invitation

to the stillness I seek.

 

Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem Tinker.

 

Aleksandra

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lovely imagery! what caught me was the imperfect petal

 

I think, I think......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like the pictures that go with it. You should blow it up and write your poem on it Tink. That would look pretty cool!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Tink,

 

 

This is merciless teasing - posting two fabulous poems! what strikes one is the sheer sensuality of the details of the flower. me thinks, for what its worth that this is one of your great poems in recent weeks.

 

 

I particularly love the build up to this moment:

 

"...a faint scent floats gently

in invitation

to the stillness I seek...."

 

Truly magnificent!

 

goldenlangur

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've dipped into the archive works just a bit upon my arrival and picked your flower poem I am admittedly familiar with from elsewhere Tinker. I see you living up to your name tinkering (sorry to create the revision icon_lol.gif ) but thought your first effort was fine and an alluring bloom already. Frank

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now