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Tinker

Cherry Blossoms #12 Poem a Day

5 posts in this topic

In a front corner of my garden are two trees, a Weeping Cherry and a Fuji Apple. Cherries grow well here in individual gardens but it is apple orchards that have supported our local farmers for decades. This morning I went out into my garden to observe the traditional symbol of Spring and be inspired to write a cherry blossom haiku. The cherry blooms had already faded, with only a few fragile almost ethereal blossoms left while to the right the apple tree was in full bloom vibrant and renewed by Spring. I felt rooted to my community.

 

cherry blossoms pale

as death next to Spring's pink blush

on my apple tree

------------------ ---jvg

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Very fitting to read here in DC, blossom time. Nice, simple, pretty. I like the dichotomy: blossoms dead, apples blooming.

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Vivid contrast of colour and life. I was going to ask about the simile, but decided to consult your reference section: Figurative speech, metaphor or simile is generally not used in the haiku, though it can and does appear. :smile:

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Hi Marti, Thanks for reading and commenting. I feel a litttle guilty for flooding the forum with my attempt to produce a poem a day but the feedback makes me feel less guilty.

 

~~Tink

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Very astute Badge.... Yes I struggled with leaving the simile in, figurative speech is usually a no-no in haiku, there is simply no room for them in such a small poem but the imagery wouldn't leave me. And when I first read your cherry blossom link I was even thinking maybe if wrote a haiku I really thought had a chance, I might send it in. But I would never send this one in because of its flaws (the haibun like prose and the simile) .

 

But I like it for what it is. It does capture the moment, my reaction. The comparison was so stark. death / new life ... East / West and my emotion the almost proud reaction to the tree that represents my home surprised me. I may continue to play with the haiku alone. My first simile was "like snow" which I keep going back to in my head playing with it to eliminate the simile but retain the image. And to truly be a haibun the prose and the haiku should not be so obviously connected. So it isn't a perfect piece, but I thank you for the inspiration.

 

 

~~Tink

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