The Green Grass Of Home

[Benjamin]

When a bird shits on your head

It's good luck my granny said

But she'd never seen the gulls in Perranporth

You can't walk along the street

With fresh fish and chips to eat

For fear of being bombed and mugged-- or worse

 

All the crap in human waste

Seems to alter Nature's taste

For they act like hyper kids with O.C.D.

And up and down our coast

Where bold antics once were jokes

They're protected-- what a major irony

 

From landfill sites to bins

They've no fear of human things

As they nest on ledge and flat-roof primed to go

And if Hitchcock were allowed

To peer down from Heaven's shroud

I'm sure he'd smile and say "I told you so!"

 

Fertilisers washed from soil

And the spillages of oil

Mix with the stuff that passed through you and me

Make a cocktail of the tides

Turning Jekylls into Hydes

And they take just what they want-- beside the sea

 

Oh the herring gulls are strong

And their lives are decades long

And they'll never let a good feed pass them by

For they're hooked on Macky-Dees

And leftover K.F.C.'s

And it's a bloody good job grazing cows can't fly

[Benjamin]

A little pointed food-chain humour for a change :-)

[rhymeguy]

I am sitting in a library laughing out loud.

It feels so good to laugh from the belly up

 

THANK YOU!

[abstrect-christ]

Haha I'm still one of those hyper kids with a slight case of OCD. Like The Birds reference; the mans a master of mystery and suspense theatre.

 

Thanks for the laugh.

[badger11]

Hits the target in so many ways.

 

best

 

badge

[dr_con]

I was so busy laughing, I forgot to reply;-) Much needed

.

 

Juris

[Benjamin]

In a UK news item last week, a large gull was pictured-- spreading its wings to open the automatic door of a shopping mart. It walked in, stole a bag of crisps from a display stand; then, spreading wings again, opened the door to exit and make off with its prize.

[Tinker]

Very timely Geoff, this was the perfect poem for me to read tonight. You lifted my spirits.

 

I just returned from a 2 week trip back east with my son and grandchildren. While I was gone my husband ended up having double bypass heart surgery. He drove down to the VA Hospital in San Francisco for some scheduled tests the day after I left on my trip and 2 weeks later he is still there. I flew home for the surgery which was this Monday and had to retrieve my car that had been parked at the hospital which looks out on the Pacific Ocean. My car is covered with gull droppings baked on in over a week of sun and I am going to have to take it to be detailed to get it cleaned up. My husband is doing amazingly well although he is still having a lot of pain which is normal after an 8 hour surgery. The VA gets a lot of bad press but our experience has been really wonderful. Efficient, thorough, caring staff have helped him through this tough time.

 

Thanks for the laugh. ~~Tink

[Benjamin]

Hi Tink. Hope all now goes well for you and yours. We have a saying for trying times - "You have to laugh or you'd just cry."

Re: birds. There's a certain irony as my wife puts out feeders etc: hoping to attract the garden birds, yet constantly complains about pigeons, magpies and gulls who always seem to get there first. Still... we do have a cat.. :-)

[David W. Parsley]

Everything's been said above, Geoff. Keep the bovines grounded!

 

- Dave

[dcmarti1]

Loved this, and the poem. Yes, it did make me smile! Needed it.

 

In a UK news item last week, a large gull was pictured-- spreading its wings to open the automatic door of a shopping mart. It walked in, stole a bag of crisps from a display stand; then, spreading wings again, opened the door to exit and make off with its prize.