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eclipse

chalk streams

2 posts in this topic

Brief winter sun of the flashing king streaking

waters that are waiting for wings. Ears are tricked

by the wind's onomatopeia, kingfisher's colors

are streaked across the moon's shining spear.

Snow arrives winter is cutting its hair. I wonder

if the stream leaves white footprints after walking

in a dream to catch the moons blade wearing a tear.

 

There are blue glints, the kingfisher's courtship, the male

grips the gift of a fish to his mate. The intimacy

of otters as they stitch sharing the chalk's white thread,

the needle's eye widens as days lengthen. Somewhere

in chalk, there is a cache of each fish taken and every

cloud that passes.The night is arguing with itself, the snap

of thunder, bolts of lightning are its tears perhaps. Summer

clouds are slippers for angels.

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Very well composed, Barry. I've read it numerous times, and it's addictive. Each time I want to read it again.

I always like when onomatopoeia is mentioned in a poem. It never gets old. The two verse set-up is perfect with the stanza break coming just at the right time when reading out loud (i.e. for taking a breath) and also for thought.

There's nothing superfluous. Some of my favorite excerpts are ... the male / grips the gift of a fish to his mate and the reference to "the intimacy of otters." Also, The night is arguing with itself and the line break after "snap" are especially to my liking, snap being a word that for me invokes the expression "cold snap," yet in this case it drops to "of thunder" in the next line, followed with "perhaps." Nice work.

Tony

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