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Poetry Magnum Opus

Lake

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  1. into May

    This is a keeper! I love the twist at the end. Is there a period at the end of line two and three or is my screen smeared that I could not tell. But I prefer no dots at the end that would enable the reader to have a double reading. Very much enjoyed. Lake
  2. Fuzzy

    Hi Tinker, Such an indearing photo. She looks normal as a normal girl looks. I've never heard about childhood stroke. Thanks for bringing the awareness. As I heard, many people depend highly on their left brains, so their right brains are less used. I hope Fuzzy can make full use of her right brain to be imaginative and creative. I am not a doctor, just want to send my best wishes to Fuzzy. The poem is tender with love and hope. As you wrote: But a glimmer of promise shines through her bright smile. Her right-brain shelters a brilliant flame that sparkles behind alert sea-deep green eyes and lights a path to the future. This is all we expect. Best, Lake
  3. Watertown

    Thank you Frank. Glad to see you around. Best, Lake
  4. Touch of Art

    Wow, sixty years! Very impressive. You have to display a larger size of your work for us to appreciate.
  5. Touch of Art

    I like how you use the medium of art to relate to other things: emotion, love, music and writing. It all takes practice. As I watched my teacher doing the demo, I just felt it is a miracle. And then he said "I've been doing this for 35 years!"
  6. Watertown

    Thank you Tinker for your confidence in me. My pen is rusty now. Will try to get back. Hi Tony, yes, I noticed the upgrades on this forum. Will try to make full use of it. As you said, the watertown is not the one by Boston, but it certainly can evoke different feelings. Hello badge, I'd love to know the viewpoint of others. There's no right or wrong, just different. Thank you all. Lake
  7. Watertown

    late at night the red candle flickers in my eye
  8. Photo of me

    You look great Victor. Lake
  9. great news going to university

    I'm so glad for you, victor! To keep up with it is tough, but that you've been writing poems for these many years makes me believe you can do it. Best wishes! Lake
  10. Haiku Train - catch it - free tickets

    in the last light Dragon King rises from Himalaya
  11. Phone Call to An Old Friend

    Tinker, What a tear-jerker poem. There are no modifiers, it is not sentimental, just a few words that really hit hard on the reader. I also like the short dialogue form. Nothing more needs to be said. It is from life, it is from one's heart. Great write! Lake
  12. Meter, Rhythm, and Musicality

    Thank you so very much Tony. It really helps! I compared my scansion with yours and realized what my problems are. Trying too hard to put it in a strict iamb pentameter. Still not very familiar with other kinds of feet. Should've read it naturally, read it in the context. But I'm glad I got the secondary stress right and caught the anapest. From your example, I've also learned how to divide syllables ( I thought I knew, but I didn't) in a disyllable, multisyllable word. I'll come back to read it again as well as the discussions on this thread above my post, which I hadn't had the time to read yet. This stuff really needs practice. Thanks million! Lake
  13. Meter, Rhythm, and Musicality

    Hi Victor, Thank you for your sympathy. I probably won't write a lot in meters, but I do want to know how it works so that I can appreciate the metered poems better. This needs practice for sure. Regards. Lake
  14. Meter, Rhythm, and Musicality

    Hi Tony, I read your Iambic Pentameter at http://www.poetrymagnumopus.com/index.php?showtopic=2358 Since I couldn't reply to that thread, I will post my questions regarding scanning here. Hope it is ok. First off, good stuff, Tony. A handy reference to the use of meters. After reading your helpful guide, I'm trying to apply what I've learned to a sonnet and done a scansion on one of Barrett Browning's sonnets. There are still areas I'm not quite sure. Please help. But only three in all God's universe (unscanned version) But only three in all God's universe Have heard this word thou hast said,---Himself, beside Thee speaking, and me listening! and replied One of us . . . that was God, . . . and laid the curse So darkly on my eyelids, as to amerce My sight from seeing thee,---that if I had died, The death-weights, placed there, would have signified Less absolute exclusion. 'Nay' is worse From God than from all others, O my friend! Men could not part us with their worldly jars, Nor the seas change us, nor the tempests bend; Our hands would touch for all the mountain-bars: And, heaven being rolled between us at the end, We should but vow the faster for the stars. Scansion but ON/ly THREE/ in All/ god's U/niVERSE (universe, can I emphasize a bit on VERSE?) have HERD/ this WORD/ thou hast SAID,--/himSELF, /beSIDE (is F3 an anapest?) thee SPEA/king, AND/ me LIste/ning! AND/ rePLIED (not sure about F3, is it an amphibrach or iamb?) one OF/ us... THAT/ was GOD/,... and LAID/ the CURSE so DARK/ly ON/ my EYE/lids, as TO/ aMERCE (F4, anapest?) my SIGHT/ from SEE/ing THEE/,--that IF/ I had DIED, (F5 – anapest) the DEATH/-weights, PLACED/ there, WOULD/ have SIG/niFIED (can I stress a bit on the last syllable in signified?) less AB/soLUTE/ excLU/sion. "NAY"/ is WORSE (again, F2, stress on the 3rd syllable of absolute?) from GOD/ than FROM/ all O/thers, O/ my FRIEND! men COULD/ not PART/ us WITH/ their WORLD/ly JARS, NOR the/ seas CHANGE /us, NOR/ the TEM/pests BEND;(F1, trochee?) our HANDS/ would TOUCH/ for ALL/ the MOUN/tain-BARS: and, HEA/ven BE/ing ROLLED/ beTWEEN us/ at the END, (most uncertain, F4 amphibrach, F5 anapest? any other ways of scansion?) we SHOULD/ but VOW/ the FAS/ter FOR/ the STARS. Other person suggested the last four words "us at the end" in L13 as one foot, the reason is "at" and "the" can be contracted or weakened as "t" and "th". But I'm not so sure since they were not written that way, besides we (I) normally won't say it like that instead I feel more comfortable to say "between us" and "at the end". The question is can other metric foot (consisted of triple syllables) be used beside "anapest" in iamb pentameter? I also find sometimes, words may not sound with the same degree of stress in scansion as they are marked in the dictionary. Any help will be greatly appreciated. Lake
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