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Poetry Magnum Opus

JoelJosol

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  1. JoelJosol

    Funny Man

    The piece is like a journal of the funny man's transformation himself.
  2. JoelJosol

    Cold Bed

    Thank you guys for the read. I have been through several rides on that cold bed. I reflected on the instances where I am awake there and heard everything, and the instances that I dozed off. I reflected on the thought if I want to hear them exclaim an error has been made, a mis-procedure, the staff debating, or the surgeon scolding another, something bad happening that I cannot see but hear. Of course, it was all fictional. But, I wanted to walk the reader into that journey with me. You guys captured the reflection and the posture. Thanks.
  3. JoelJosol

    Cold Bed

    Despite the promise to make me comfy in this cold bed, the first time I laid down in it I asked please put me into deep sleep, so deep even if death stole me from lawyers who could not bring me back, only my body would convulse against the error of a machine mis-configured, or against a surgeon who mis-heard or mis-read or whatever else he missed, but not my wakeful thoughts strapped in it- to record the tensed voices, to actively compute the pain, to calculate how many minutes more are left, to feel the dread of the last breath until it is gone. I prefer to go into a deep sleep in this cold bed. I already have a blanket. Just pull it up to my head when done.
  4. JoelJosol

    Pablo's music

    I thought you captured the spirit of an autistic child, his self-contained world, and their special talent. Just as Judi wrote it was beautiful the poem built its cohesiveness through the butterfly imagery and the music box in the end.
  5. JoelJosol

    The Escapist

    Memories, remembrance, flash of life, all converged in death. I found your piece a collage of snapshots of images and thoughts that death provokes in us who are left behind.
  6. JoelJosol

    The Box

    The tone of the piece reflects how you handled the crisis, Judi. It is positive signalled by the "blink" and the pace of the unraveling of the poem. I hope that your husband will do fine with all the help he can get plus prayers.
  7. JoelJosol

    The Shaking

    Hi Tony, thanks for the read. I have the time again to visit while recuperating from a cataract surgical procedure.
  8. JoelJosol

    The Shaking

    Thanks Judi for the read. I was trying to re-create the Golgotha scene the few minutes after he died without directly referencing him.
  9. JoelJosol

    Trey

    I learned a new form today.
  10. JoelJosol

    "The Lady doth . . . "

    The couplet is the cautionary message in all the howl. The turn happened intentionally on the last couplet of S3. Is this how you feel about it, Judi?
  11. JoelJosol

    Trey

    I can relate to this "closed his tired eyes and slipped away" versus the "moan came from deep within". I already lost so many pets in my short and woeful life.
  12. JoelJosol

    The Shaking

    The ground moved and shook until its surface ripped open as if by a knife. Above, the dark clouds came in haste dragging the sun away from viewing the blood and water streaming from a wound into the nervous air which failed to catch it, spreading out onto the dirt, rock and wood. But the torture stake stood its ground as the dead remained fastened on it, unaware of eyes who looked at the ribbons of flesh hanging off the body, of voices with their quiet grief, while some heavy curtain was torn in two exposing a hidden golden ark.
  13. JoelJosol

    scissor tailed fly catcher

    The same lines called out by Tony also caught my eye. The "shadows from a fire" tested my imagination.
  14. JoelJosol

    Saturday Morning

    I like S3 best. It is the peak of the poem.
  15. JoelJosol

    Pearson park

    What I like best in this piece eclipse is the surprise you get on each turn in the line. You'll never know what you get. That is an exciting ride.
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