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goldenlangur

your birthday

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goldenlangur

it's your birthday soon

 

should I send a card or phone

 

what will we talk about

 

our jobs, the new airport

 

but not why you left


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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tonyv

A birthday should be a joyous occasion, but there's some tension, some awkwardness, some "unfinished business" so to speak between the well-wisher and the recipient of the birthday wishes. Their relationship has been reduced to civility. The reader gets the sense that the speaker is trying to reach out, but the other has turned cold.

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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dr_con

A concise reflection which says a great deal in so few words- have been on both sides of that conversation and now my head is filled with past voices in an unending stream.

 

Quite Nice!

 

DC


Join the Voodoo rEvolution. Classes forming now: http://www.integralvoodoo.org/

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goldenlangur

Hi Tony,

 

 

You put your finger on the intent:

 

"unfinished business"

 

 

You're right - birthdays should be happy celebrations not the marking of a past hurt.

 

I'm always amazed at the trouble you take to engage with a work posted here.

 

Thank you so much for the considered review you've given this tanka.


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur

I appreciate Dc that this had a familiar ring to it.

 

now my head is filled with past voices in an unending stream.

 

DC

 

You express well how the past keeps its hold on us.

 

 

Thank you.


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Aleksandra

Goldenlangur - a wonderful tanka. The sadness with doubt...The warmness in between the coldness.

 

Interesting - I don't know how to express myself better. I feel this poem more than I can tell about.

 

Glad you shared this.

 

Aleksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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goldenlangur

Hello Aleksandra,

 

 

I don't know how to express myself better. I feel this poem more than I can tell about.

 

I think you express yourself well: :D

...The sadness with doubt...The warmness in between the coldness

 

Thank you.


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Lake

Hello Golden,

 

Your language flows so naturally but the last line is such a punch line. We will talk about this, that, anything but that most sensitive one.

 

Best,

 

Lake

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goldenlangur

Hello Lake,

 

 

Good to see you around.

 

 

I appreciate this perceptive reading very much:

 

... the last line is such a punch line. We will talk about this, that, anything but that most sensitive one.

 

Best,

 

Lake

 

The final line of the tanka should deliver the most meaning and I find this a huge challenge. So it's very encouraging when a reader understand this aspect.

 

Thank you very much. I hope to read your work soon.


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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douglas

yes. much melcholy beneath this. loaded with compressed sadness. how we can lose ourseleves in chit chat and skirt the true issues sometimes. very good!


To receive love, you have to give it...

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badger11

At first I found the unadorned nature of this writing read like a statement. So what? I thought. And yet here I am returning for another read because it resonates beyond a simple statement. The extended narrative that lies beneath. The dilemma of communication and engagement with another. Language used to manoeuvre around communication. The rituals of communication, those calender contacts that mock and yet we cannot reject. The difficulty becomes palpable.

 

badge

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