waxwings Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Awaiting winter’s darkest hour, we light the flame of mankind’s hope and ring the bells of every tower. Then, facing winter’s coldest night, we pin our hopes on ancient star and look for God’s rekindled light. Ikars Justin Sarma Merry Christmas everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Ikars, A bright well crafted yule piece- very impressive in its depth and brevity- Many Thanks! DC Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Hi Ikars, Yes, I read the meters and the rhymes and structurally, the two verses are almost identical - the first line starts with a present participle, the second line, an SVO sentence, starts with "we" and the third line starts with "and"... Season's greetings to all. Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 Though I'm just getting to replying here now, I did read and delight in this when you posted it, Ikars. I enjoyed the near rhyme of hour/tower/star. And the iambic tetrameter is flawless, too. I noted your omission of the article an in line five but did not find it objectionable. Rather, I found that it works quite well because you're referring to a particular star, the Star of Bethlehem. Thanks for the Christmas wishes and for the lovely reminder as to the "reason for the season." Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 A simple message of hope for me and why not? badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 Waxwings, I love this poem. I think is one of your best as well. The sense, the music, the spirit of this poem gives a pleasure to me as a reader. Thank you and Happy Holidays. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 Hi waxwings, A great verse for mid-winter celebrations of the birth of Christ. I too like the echoing rhyming effect of hour/tower. Your final line is wonderfully uplifting. Christmas was working week for us here. But why not raise a few bowls of potent local brew to a festive greeting ;) Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waxwings Posted January 13, 2010 Author Share Posted January 13, 2010 Hi waxwings, A great verse for mid-winter celebrations of the birth of Christ. I too like the echoing rhyming effect of hour/tower. Your final line is wonderfully uplifting. Christmas was working week for us here. But why not raise a few bowls of potent local brew to a festive greeting ;) I am glad this trifle made you feel like Christmas is a truly significant happening to celebrate. I have followed your advice. Have a happy and productive New Year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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