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tonyv

Yaël

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tonyv

I never built a cabin in the woods
or worked for longer than a few straight days
on anything. I can't even count the ways
I've squandered all my time and worldly goods.
And no one ever brought me Chinese birds
for a job well done. For a job not done
is not well done. I've neither fought, nor won.

She has always been more good with words,
and work, and money. Even her old man,
made of medals, scored in lustrous wars.
But now, she has a young man. How he can
do anything with all those open doors,
bonuses, when she is in the plan!
And I am stealing small things from big stores.
________________________________

Yaël (Nubian ibex ... and a given name)
Chinese Duck


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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badger11

Downbeat, understated, beautiful.

 

I'd buy a book to read this poem.

 

badge

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goldenlangur

Hi Tony,

 

I agree with badge's comment - this poem seems eminently publishable. I hope you're working towards publication with a collection. Rich in tone, imagery and resonance:

 

..... Even her old man,

made of medals, scored in lustrous wars. ....

 

This is quite unforgettable!

 

 

Thank you.


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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dr_con

Tony,

 

Agree whole heartedly with the sentiments expressed by my peers- Seriously. This is very, very, very good- Simple, direct, modern and yet Timeless- as all great poetry is- Time to put a collection together-

 

Dr. Con & Juris


Join the Voodoo rEvolution. Classes forming now: http://www.integralvoodoo.org/

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Tinker

Oh Tony, This is stunning! The meter drives it, everything comes together in perfect harmony... This is poetry! I'd buy that book!

 

~~Tink


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

tony this is a treat to read. one of your best. mesmerising and tantalizing it grabs you as though this was meant to be. this is why i read and write poetry. several lines are very memorable. i just hope one of my lines in any of my poems is just as memorable as this whole poem. your whole poem made me think of a few strong images. mostly i want to know more from the writer's memory and mind. bravo.


Larsen M. Callirhoe

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Aleksandra

And I would give all my poem, to have such a wonderful comments :) . Tony count on me when you publish a book ;) .

 

This is wonderful poem with interesting expression and imagery. The narrator seems to be anger with him self in some melancholy way. Full of desires and watching in his own mirror someone's else reflection. You break the poem on two parts while making some invisible connection. In the first part is the narrator and in the second one the ideal, the example on which you make a comparison. The self criticism is expressed in the best ironical way. There is the feeling of guilty, accusing, weakness. All of that provokes the last line, where you are saying: -- And I am stealing small things from big stores. -- That shows the paradox in life, on having and loosing, or image of what we are in real -- so small.

But all is game, you take it or leave it. The life is offering always.

 

I needed a time to get this poem done in my mind, in real way. And now I happy because I can relate to the same.

 

Tony, you have a strong literal tongue. Your rich vocabulary and sense for unique expressions never stops to attract me.

 

Aleksandra

 

PS: The title is as always. Brilliant and very questionable. Always makes me wonder.


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

another comment by me if i may please. i have studied hebrew immesilby and yael is a hebrew word. fast scrolling led me to the song new soul. a powerful song. if this is not a tribute to her yael naim i am clueless. this poem is so deep and cleverly weaved. i can't stop thinking about this one. i haven't touched reality with the world especially the music world since my accident. i have over 200 music cd that i listen very little to the radio anymore. sad because i didnt realise how much i listed to the radio as mainstream music back then. i missed a gem alright in yael niam;s song.

Edited by Larsen M. Callirhoe

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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tonyv

Thank you, all, for your generous, highest level compliments. I treasure each and every one.

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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waxwings

I may need more time to do justice to this.

 

This poem has a classic feel to it and, though a few minor corrections are needed, I would call it one of the best 10 or 20 poems of the countless many it has been my pleasure to read in my lifetime.

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tonyv

Thanks, Ikars, for the unexpected accolade. I remain honored and humbled by everyone's encouragement and praise.

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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