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badger11

Valentine Poem

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badger11

Do you remember the red boots
and the muddy puddle?
I remember the splash you made
with the crowd, the laughter
that colours my days.

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goldenlangur

Hi badge,

 

Wonderfully playful and yet wistful - if I'm not too off the mark - this has such a tanka-like tone and effect. I love the :

 

... the laughter

that colours my days.

 

Thank you.


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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badger11

- this has such a tanka-like tone and effect.

 

I must admit my friend I had not intended that, but perhaps a subconscious effect of my reading elsewhere!

 

hope all is well

 

badge

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goldenlangur

 

I must admit my friend I had not intended that, but perhaps a subconscious effect of my reading elsewhere!

 

hope all is well

 

badge

 

You tell a story well in a few lines so reminiscent of the tanka. Me thinks you've got the spirit of the form :icon_sunny:

 

Celebrating our new year and hoping to write more in the months to come.

 

Lovely to read your work again.


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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tonyv

I see a lovely exchange has taken place here, triggered by a lovely "Valentine Poem." :D (I, too, noticed its tanka-like characteristics. -_- ) But I love its personal element. This one's like a snapshot. Happy V-Day!

 

Tony :heart:


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Aleksandra

Tanka or not, but a wonderful poem :). Very soft and bright poem. In some way nostalgic, also. I read this with a smile on my face, and I sunk in feelings. Very positive poem.

 

Badge, thank you for this calmly and enjoyable poem.

 

Aleksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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badger11

So much sunshine and smiles my friends :HUG:

 

 

badge :D

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dr_con

Oh yes- sunshine and smiles evoked by this lovely beam of sunshine- well done Badge!

 

 

DC&J


Join the Voodoo rEvolution. Classes forming now: http://www.integralvoodoo.org/

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waxwings

I have always said that a good poem will stand up because it is good in itself. Being reminiscent of some classic form is not a requirement.

 

This one shines, esp. because of the magnificent idea that (her/your) "laughter (does) color my days" [forgive the slight paraphrase]. It is way beyond what a traditional tanka would dare to say, because Japanese poetry is more into symbolic statements to evoke emotion, while this is breathtakingly hidden a trope, not readily apparent untill you see what is not said.

 

Thanks for letting me find it.

Edited by waxwings

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badger11

Thank you WW and DR C. for bringing some sunshine on this snowy day.

 

badge

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