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Poetry Magnum Opus
Lake

The Grave Covered by Snow

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Lake
Then he appears,

unshaven.

He is silent like the grave

and cunning as the squirrel.

Does he smell the fragrant wreath?

Does he see the footprints in front of his tomb?

I extend my hand to touch

a flake of snow,

a flake of his skin.

 

but I would make some minor changes for this almost perfect revision, just for me,

 

Then he appears,

unshaven,

silent as the grave

and cunning as the squirrel.

Does he smell the fragrant wreath?

Does he see the footprints in front of his tomb?

I extend my hand

feeling the soft touch of

a flake of snow,

a flake of his skin.

 

for your reference.

 

 

Thanks worm for your revisit and thoughtful suggestions. After a few reads of your version

 

feeling the soft touch of

I think the meaning has changed a little, instead of the narrator who reaches to touch, the revision reads like the subject of the action of "touch" is snow. Also, I think the word "touch" implies "feel" as "soft" does to "snow flake", doesn't it?

 

Thanks again.

 

Lake

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Aleksandra

Hi, Lake. This is a wonderful poem. One of the most powerful and deep what I have read ever from you. I loved this one. The sound, the sense, the tone of the poem. Everything is expressed on wonderful way and the reader can just feel for a moment the sadness and the pain. It works and there are few wonderful expressed images.

 

I already read this poem few times and can not stop doing that.

 

Thank you.

 

Aleksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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