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Poetry Magnum Opus
tonyv

Prudhoe Bay

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Tinker
------------------- May colder currents sway

---an ambered me, extinct and trapped in sap,

------and plant me in the Baltic's muddy floor.

 

 

Wow Tony, This is an incredibly beautiful yet very "now" sonnet. I especially love the last lines which conjured all kinds of thoughts in me.

 

I think this is my favorite of your poems so far. I also think I said that the last poem of yours I read which says to me that you are just getting better and better.

 

What I really like about this is it is a metered poem without sounding "metered". I love the sounds of it, it reads aloud so smoothly. It has rhyme without following a recognized pattern and therefore the rhyme enhances the musicality of the piece but doesn't give it a sing songy or archaic or forced sound. The imagery is crystal clear and the pivot smooth and almost transparent.

 

If I were you, I would consider submitting this for publication.

~~Tink

 

ps. I wrote andposted this commentary before reading any of the comments that were posted before me, I didn't want to be influenced by the others.


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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tonyv

Tinker, I'm excited to see you (I know you've been away for awhile), and I'm thrilled that you liked this sonnet. Thank you for your kind, considered, and thorough observations. I especially like what you said about the pivot. As for submitting the poem (or other poems of mine) for publication, I already have -- right here, to PMO. :icon_cool: But really, I take it to mean elsewhere, to a printed publication, and thank you for the generous compliment. :)

 

Tony

 

 

PS -- Happy belated birthday! I saw that it came up on the old board, but not here. (Probably your profile doesn't show it.) In any case, it's great to see you, and thanks again for visiting this poem.


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Aleksandra

Eternal shocking, Tony :). Your poems are always amazing in their own way. Always special, strong, original without even one single cliche. That is for respect. It's hard to take the step with you. Maybe you you are writing " slow " as you say, but always worth to write and we as readers to enjoy your poetical opus.

 

I found some parts in this poem where I stood for a long time, even since the first time I read it:

As for example this line: " where every day is but an endless night. " ---- that is wonderful line what hits direct in a heart.

 

Also, the end:

May colder currents sway

---an ambered me, extinct and trapped in sap,

------and plant me in the Baltic's muddy floor.

 

.... No comment. It's the best...

 

Aleksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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tonyv

Thank you, Aleksandra. I'm proud to be at your side on the journey.

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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