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rumisong

a contradictory pleasure of our main content

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rumisong

For some reason, I was "inspired" to do an Erasure Poem on THIS thread

and so, below is what I got-- but I would love if someone wanted to do more work on it, or their own from the same thread (would be fun) or a different thread (if you so HAVE to be such an "individual" about it ;))

 

tell me one sweet word

 

natural outspoken lines

 

real emotion of love

dare to ask

coming out from a

proper, all together, connected between,

somehow

to read them in a chain

Whatever it is

their own place and meaning issued to me

colored by more

 

even a few that are worthy

so people can get to know

as I get to know

irony in small poems

their own place and meaning

with us

 

it's yours to decide, and

this is the place

 

discreet plays on

Oh so sweet, oh so subtle

a similie

a metaphor

still laughing

 

to love your poetry

learning the craft

as we are

open-armed,

it needs no more

 

But I, myself

Ha! Yes, me too

ever so grateful

no matter how much I wanted

a reflection on my past

 

we should revive

our unrequited love

to grapple with a classic story

a tragedy for both

that revealing interest

 

is it helpful

these little random notes

or do you just prefer to absorb

as stand alone pieces

to experience them under discussion?

 

let me check... aha! There it is!

I think I'm notorious...

 

you'll see

 

no one should explain if the poem

has failed

you simply provided wanting more

Many times more about

inspiration,

Here, in our fortunate way,

with or without

I still experience

the life of the poet

I often will do

even when I think I know

so many layers

sugary spun

Very effective

 

How well you play

on words that

made me smile

 

to meet you

 

most of us don't have our lives

documented

or in books

 

Indeed.

 

And thank you

It's good for me

explaining and giving

at the time it was written- one in my enjoyment

a selection

the person providing

is not the same as explaining

 

 

I didn't mean to conflate

explaining the same thing differently

 

In any case

everything said

a contradictory pleasure

of our main content

 

To view more

Invision

 

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tonyv

Hey, I like this, Rumisong. And I like how you're not afraid to experiment, to try new things, to play with words. It usually yields something fresh -- I think some of the best things I ever wrote were a product of your "sentences that make no sense topic" :) -- and the ending of this one made me smile.

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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rumisong

"makes no sense" will surely be resurrected before too long, methinks ;)

 

and yeah, I find that Im really liking this one myself- Im ACTUALLY still working on it- I want it more and better than it is, I find- and this is a rare thing for me-- we'll see how long this desire to tweak something "once written" lasts, eh?

 

Thanks as ever T!

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