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badger11

The Maid

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badger11

She prays
beyond the rose-clipped fence,
a clamour of rooks calling
across the brook. Her hand
delves beneath the copper leaves,
digs deep in dark earth, unclothes
a world of feeding things: unwraps
the scent of nature’s fate. She buries
her cross and chain.
She waits.

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Tinker

Hi badger, This one has an old fashioned feel that I love. Another small poem packed with imagery. I am still stunned by its beauty.

 

The parallel between her hand digging exposing "the scent of nature's fate" and burying her cross and chain still holds a mystery for me, but it is one that I want to delve into at leisure. The manner in which you open and close the poem help this poem feel complete.

 

I like this very much.

 

~~Tink


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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badger11

Thanks again Tink. I've posted this on a couple of sites, but this is my only reply so far icon_cry.gificon_lol.gif It was originally going to be a part of 'The Priest' poem in workshop, but I felt it took the focus off the Priest. It is still connected though and that is why I have used the rose clipped fence image again. Unlike the Priest she chose to bury the her 'cross and chain'.

 

Pleased you enjoyed. I appreciate your support.

 

badge icon_biggrin.png

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Tinker

Hmmm, I will have to go back to the Priest which I admittedly side stepped because there was such a good exchange already going back and forth on it. I kind of felt like I was butting in if I made further comment if I remember right. I will go check it.

 

~~Tink


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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badger11

That's ok Tink - I've 'buried' the Priest poem for a while icon_biggrin.pngicon_lol.gif

 

all the best

 

badge

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tonyv

Hi Badge,

 

I remember certain elements in this one from Priest, and I think it's fantastic that you have incorporated some imagery from that poem into this poem.

 

She prays

beyond the rose-clipped fence,

a clamour of rooks calling

across the brook. Her hand

delves beneath the copper leaves,

digs deep in dark earth, unclothes

a world of feeding things: unwraps

the scent of nature's fate. She buries

her cross and chain.

She waits.

 

The spiritual (prayer) and the secular (the dark earth) intermingle. I feel some sort of tension, at work here: She buries her cross and chain ... and I want to know why. Intriguing!

 

Tony icon_biggrin.png


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Aleksandra

What a wonderful expression:

She prays

beyond the rose-clipped fence,

a clamour of rooks calling

across the brook

 

It is so hyper, deep, strong. Imageries works as well. And I feel darkness in your poem.

 

Very well done

 

Thank you Badge for sharing.

 

Aleksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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badger11

hi Tony

 

My intention was to signify her turning away from the spiritual, the promise of after life, for 'earthly' love. Hope that explains.

 

all the best

 

badge icon_biggrin.png

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badger11

Thanks Aleks. I'm pleased the emotions came through in the language.

 

badge icon_biggrin.png

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goldenlangur

Hi badge,

 

I may be barking up the wrong tree here but your poem reminds one of a painting by Millais of two girls rummaging through autumn leaves. Innocence, nostalgia and how beauty fades is what comes across from both your poem and Mallais's painting.

 

You've got some great feedback from other readers, I just want to say your use of echoing rhymes here is wonderful and the sensousness of her gestures works well in suggesting the conflict of her emotions. I too noticed the link with the Priest. I like the idea of a collection of poems teasing out narrative links between several characters in similar situations of reckoning personal feeling with the larger questions of faith, transience of life and beauty.

 

I'm rather under siege with work but just dropped by to say how much I've enjoyed this.

 

goldenlangur


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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badger11

I too noticed the link with the Priest. I like the idea of a collection of poems teasing out narrative links between several characters in similar situations of reckoning personal feeling with the larger questions of faith, transience of life and beauty.

 

I appreciate you taking time gl from your work to comment. Your sensitive responses are very much valued. I find your words above articulate my own ideas on using a narrative framework in poetry as well as relating this narrative to more universal themes. I'm pleased the approach worked for you.

 

all the best

 

badge icon_biggrin.png

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