Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

when - tanka


goldenlangur

Recommended Posts

goldenlangur

head to head, we lie

under a cerulean sky

when did we last feel carefree?

ransacking our father's drinks

and stealing the King’s walnuts!

 

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aleksandra

very different than usual - this is deep, but much more opened. I like it GL.

Have you ever planed to publish some tanka - book ? Or already you have?

 

Aleksandra icon_smile.gif

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

goldenlangur

Hello Aleksandra,

 

So glad that you like the lighter tone in this tanka. icon_biggrin.png

 

Publish a book of tanka - now there's a thought and a dream icon_wink.gif I wish I would have the courage to pursue.

 

Thank you very much,

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aleksandra

goldenlangur wrote:

 

Publish a book of tanka - now there's a thought and a dream
icon_wink.gif
I wish I would have the
courage
to pursue.

 

Ah goldenlangur, if is that only what you need , you have it. I am giving to you, I am supporting you and I am sure the others too.

 

Why not, you are so good with tankas. I would love to have a tanka - poetry in my hands by goldenlangur

 

Good luck my friend icon_wink.gif

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

goldenlangur

You're very kind Aleksandra.

 

I'm touched and encouraged.

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like the surprise rhyme that shows up in the first lines:

 

head to head, we lie

under a cerulean sky

 

 

when did we last feel carefree?

 

 

If only I could remember ...

 

I like how you then go on (even in this short tanka) to give two examples alluding to youth --

 

ransacking our father's drinks

and stealing the King's walnuts!

 

Sometimes I want to go back, sometimes I don't.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to comment
Share on other sites

goldenlangur

Hi Tony,

 

 

You make a very good point here:

 

tonyv wrote:

I like the surprise rhyme that shows up in the first lines...

Tony

 

It seems rhymes were used in tanka and even haiku - not as a regular rhyme scheme but a couple of lines, sometimes. Kenneth Yasuda discusses this aspect in detail.

 

Thank you very much for your perceptive reading. Not only your work but your reviews grow in depth and range.

But you're right - not all memories are worth recalling!

 

Thank you very much,

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.