spauldhr Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I remember resenting his forgiveness. One can't accept mercy, While seeking justice. I was not sorry. Nor was I being rebellious. I was not required to consider you, anymore. I was a stone And you were trying to wrap me in snow, Hoping to freeze me in place, Hoping then, to keep me. But I had already formed, solid, and you, as expected, just melt away. ** First poem here, I might be a bit rusty, but am glad to join the board and see some familiar names! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hello Spauldhr, spauldhr wrote: I remember resenting his forgiveness. One can't accept mercy, While seeking justice. Interesting that you were on that end of it. I have (on certain occasions) had my pleas for forgiveness resented, because the other person was seeking her own brand of justice -- perhaps retaliating (by enjoying my suffering) or trying to teach me some lesson. But you go on to say that you were really not sorry for what you did, and that, I was not required to consider you, anymore. Ouch! This leads me to believe that the other person did something wrong first, and that your actions were retaliatory. I very much like the image which appears in the third verse -- of being wrapped in snow. You go on to mention the futility of that attempt in the last strophe, which I find particularly striking: But I had already formed, solid, and you, as expected, just melt away. I sense a sadness in this last part. It seems that your having turned to stone was not as effective as you had envisioned. This is evidenced by the other's disappointing albeit predictable reaction of melting away. Well done. I love it. Please share more! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hello Spauldhr, nice to see you around. This poem I like it a lot. I can feel here the strong feminity side and energy, and the pain too. Very wonderful expressed and yes I like the women like that Thank you for sharing your poem here, and as Tony said, please share more! Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 tonyv wrote: Interesting that you were on that end of it. I have (on certain occasions) had my pleas for forgiveness resented, because the other person was seeking her own brand of justice -- perhaps retaliating (by enjoying my suffering) or trying to teach me some lesson. Ah Tony here you made me smile. I am so happy when the men think like that. Often they are wrong and think like that because of loving to act as a victims, and to act " soo kind " bc they are expecting forgiveness. Ahh men.... Anyway it is good because you have one of the good experiences sorry, but you are a man so it is ok, it is not so painful but you could be wrong about this: (by enjoying my suffering) or trying to teach me some lesson. - not always like that, but you men loves to act like that Anyway you sound so cute Tony, you make me smile dear Sorry Spauldhr, for this , but Tony provoked me . They are imagining a lot ( Tony, this was generaly, not about you ) But you know Spauldhr, the love is love, not important is it accepted or no, understood or no. Just keep loving. Thanks again for this nice poem. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Spaulhdr, your best lines are in the last two stanzas. Great start. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hello spauldhr, There's such a sense of pained anger in this poem - an exorcising of a relationship which threatened to suffocate and destroy the spirit of the narrator. There's a bond but one which overwhelms and the narrator's protests, anger and attempts to voice her/his actual feelings seem frustrated and deflected by the suffocating presence and love of the other. There's a sense of burying emotions and the past unsuccessfully and the pain and perhaps shame of this endure. There's quite a strong element of bitterness here : spauldhr wrote: I remember resenting his forgiveness. One can't accept mercy, While seeking justice. Thought-provoking and wistful. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hi spauldhr, Nice to see you here. I heard a tone of defiance in this poem and your images support the tone. I liked the stone in the snowball. Very clever. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawn shop Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 man as freshly fallen 'snow' at night....cool woman as a stone........to strong of a metaphor for me.. ...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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