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moonqueen

time and circumstance

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moonqueen

time and circumstance

 

no definitive beginning,

certainly no tangible end.

drawn in by a smooth fade

to crystal clear haze,

 

cheated by time

and circumstance.

life, as it pertains

has made a radical turn.

i cannot give leave

of the scrap in my hand.

 

the man in the moon

should have known better,

the direction my oneiric winds blow

might change at any time.

 

i bleed

out loud.

 

 

02-10-11

©tlp 2010

Edited by moonqueen

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fdelano
time and circumstance

 

no definitive beginning,

certainly no tangible end.

drawn in by a smooth fade

to crystal clear haze,

 

cheated by time

and circumstance.

life, as it pertains

has made a radical turn.

i cannot give leave

of the scrap in my hand.

 

that man in the moon

should have known better,

the direction my oneiric winds blow

might change at any time.

 

i bleed

out loud.

 

 

02-10-11

©tlp 2010

 

I am incapable of giving poetic criticism to this work, only to say that I am touched by its very personal message. "I bleed out loud" cries out to the "scrap in your hand." Thank you for this moment, aching though it is. franklin

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dr_con

Moonqueen- Nice to read you again- Very personal indeed yet done with style and grace...

 

Enjoyed,

 

Dr. Con & Juris


Join the Voodoo rEvolution. Classes forming now: http://www.integralvoodoo.org/

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tonyv

Time and circumstance -- I like how this one wavers somewhere between fatalism and determinism. I also enjoyed the somewhat detached presentation. Welcome, Moonqueen.

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Benjamin

Welcome Moonqueen. :icon_sunny: This goes well with your pseudonym. I like the way your title blends with the opening lines and shall enjoy reading this poem over. G.

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moonqueen

Franklin, Doc (good to see you, again), Tony (thanks for the welcome, sir) and Benjamin, thanks to all of you for the time it took you to read and comment on my work. It is much appreciated.

Edited by moonqueen

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

i feel like this exactly. doesn't it seem like we all get crucified going in circles. then we wake up from this dream and see reality. just be... do we really know right from wrong!

 

 

+Victor Michael


Larsen M. Callirhoe

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moonqueen
i feel like this exactly. doesn't it seem like we all get crucified going in circles. then we wake up from this dream and see reality. just be... do we really know right from wrong!

 

 

+Victor Michael

 

 

Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate the attention to my work.

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Aleksandra

Hello, Moonqueen! I like the end part, also. It's interesting how the end is leading the poem. Interesting title, too.

 

Aleksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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waxwings

[Engaging idea, and the logic is irrefutable. Few bones:

 

repeating title idea in poem hurts because a title should raise something like a question that the reader seeks answer to by reading the poem and then seeing why the title is what it is. The poem is significant and circles around something more profound, to me, not just time and circumstance.

 

we know of the man-in-the-moon, but that man hints there could be more than one such.

 

Seems the last two lines would have more impact if written as one.

 

Welcome Queen of the Moon.

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moonqueen

Tink & Aleksandra, thanks for reading my piece and taking the time to comment, I appreciate it, endlessly.

 

ww, thanks to you, as well. I understand your feelings about my title. I have to tell you that while my imagination runs wild for most everything else I try to write, when it comes to titles, usually nothing happens. I don't know why. I have renamed dozens of my pieces because I felt they were not being read by others and realized that my titles are not always very enticing. When I grab a word or phrase from the work it's because I cannot seem to think of anything else that seems appropriate. I had "my" on the 'man in the moon' phrase originally and thought it appeared to possessive of what does not belong to me, I have taken your suggestion and gone back to the. I appreciate your kind words for the poem.

 

 

"Queen of the Moon" (indeed) :Q

Edited by moonqueen

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waxwings
Tink & Aleksandra, thanks for reading my piece and taking the time to comment, I appreciate it, endlessly.

 

ww, thanks to you, as well. I understand your feelings about my title. I have to tell you that while my imagination runs wild for most everything else I try to write, when it comes to titles, usually nothing happens. I don't know why. I have renamed dozens of my pieces because I felt they were not being read by others and realized that my titles are not always very enticing. When I grab a word or phrase from the work it's because I cannot seem to think of anything else that seems appropriate. I had "my" on the 'man in the moon' phrase originally and thought it appeared to possessive of what does not belong to me, I have taken your suggestion and gone back to the. I appreciate your kind words for the poem.

 

 

"Queen of the Moon" (indeed) :Q

 

August Homer (I think I may have the first name wrong) teaches in Iowa, titles one of his poems something like "Thoughts on my Way to the Hospital to Visit My Pregnant Ex-Wife" which he said was to avoid having people ask what the poem is about.

 

Since this is not my poem I would not dare to suggest a title w/o reading it over some more times, but I am sure there was some wild germ of an idea that started you writing it. Think about it and let me know. I then may have some suggestions.

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moonqueen
Tink & Aleksandra, thanks for reading my piece and taking the time to comment, I appreciate it, endlessly.

 

ww, thanks to you, as well. I understand your feelings about my title. I have to tell you that while my imagination runs wild for most everything else I try to write, when it comes to titles, usually nothing happens. I don't know why. I have renamed dozens of my pieces because I felt they were not being read by others and realized that my titles are not always very enticing. When I grab a word or phrase from the work it's because I cannot seem to think of anything else that seems appropriate. I had "my" on the 'man in the moon' phrase originally and thought it appeared too possessive of what does not belong to me, I have taken your suggestion and gone back to the. I appreciate your kind words for the poem.

 

 

"Queen of the Moon" (indeed) :Q

 

August Homer (I think I may have the first name wrong) teaches in Iowa, titles one of his poems something like "Thoughts on my Way to the Hospital to Visit My Pregnant Ex-Wife" which he said was to avoid having people ask what the poem is about.

 

Since this is not my poem I would not dare to suggest a title w/o reading it over some more times, but I am sure there was some wild germ of an idea that started you writing it. Think about it and let me know. I then may have some suggestions.

 

 

Well, this is a case of believing someone very much loved by the N is going away, forever.

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waxwings
Tink & Aleksandra, thanks for reading my piece and taking the time to comment, I appreciate it, endlessly.

 

ww, thanks to you, as well. I understand your feelings about my title. I have to tell you that while my imagination runs wild for most everything else I try to write, when it comes to titles, usually nothing happens. I don't know why. I have renamed dozens of my pieces because I felt they were not being read by others and realized that my titles are not always very enticing. When I grab a word or phrase from the work it's because I cannot seem to think of anything else that seems appropriate. I had "my" on the 'man in the moon' phrase originally and thought it appeared too possessive of what does not belong to me, I have taken your suggestion and gone back to the. I appreciate your kind words for the poem.

 

 

"Queen of the Moon" (indeed) :Q

 

August Homer (I think I may have the first name wrong) teaches in Iowa, titles one of his poems something like "Thoughts on my Way to the Hospital to Visit My Pregnant Ex-Wife" which he said was to avoid having people ask what the poem is about.

 

Since this is not my poem I would not dare to suggest a title w/o reading it over some more times, but I am sure there was some wild germ of an idea that started you writing it. Think about it and let me know. I then may have some suggestions.

 

 

Well, this is a case of believing someone very much loved by the N is going away, forever.

 

My apologi for seeing the sadness but not sensing the whole pain.

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