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Poetry Magnum Opus

Tomb-Sweeping Day


Lake

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Tomb-Sweeping Day

 

So much I've missed

the incense

 

the joss paper

for burning

 

the incessant rain

sad like tears

 

the deep pools of your eyes -

impossible to see through

 

the oblation - the rice wine

sprinkled before the grave

 

the thick smell

of the swirling smoke

 

the praying words -

spring after spring

 

my polluted heart is

cleansed, then

 

rejuvenated

again.

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A little spring cleaning, Lake?

 

... spring after spring

 

my polluted heart is

cleansed, then

 

rejuvenated

again.

A lovely tradition, expressed in a lovely poem.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Proof that less is more, that craft is more eloquent than any outpouring (not matter how 'honest').

 

enjoyed

 

badge

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I like spare poetry, like this.

from the black desert

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Agree with Badge re: eloquence. Sometimes what is not said, out-weighs what is said. Good Job. Benjamin

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Lake Excellent truly!

 

And having done joss paper burning- These lines resonate with my experience

 

my polluted heart is

cleansed, then

 

rejuvenated

again.

 

Just like being there...

 

Many Thanks!

 

DC&J

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You go to the graves with your wife's family (your girlfriend, your Asian other ... once her parents have accepted you!) and this is what happens. It's an annual show of respect to dead grandparents and ancestors, a cleansing of the graves punctiliously carried out with prayers but little sign of sentimentality, often followed by tea and an evening gathering of the family. This poem is excellent. This is bang-on. This is exactly what happens!

Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim

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... spring after spring

 

my polluted heart is

cleansed, then

 

rejuvenated

again.

A lovely tradition, expressed in a lovely poem.

 

Yes, Tony, it is a tradtition and it has become a national holiday.

 

Thanks,

Lake

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Proof that less is more, that craft is more eloquent than any outpouring (not matter how 'honest').

 

enjoyed

 

badge

 

Hi badge,

 

Avoid any outpouring (no matter how honest), very well said!

 

Thanks.

 

Lake

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And having done joss paper burning- These lines resonate with my experience

 

my polluted heart is

cleansed, then

 

rejuvenated

again.

 

Just like being there...

 

 

Hi Dr_con,

 

Glad these lines can resonate with your experience. This practice means quite different to me now than in my childhood.

 

Many thanks.

 

Lake

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It's an annual show of respect to dead grandparents and ancestors, a cleansing of the graves punctiliously carried out with prayers but little sign of sentimentality, often followed by tea and an evening gathering of the family. This poem is excellent. This is bang-on. This is exactly what happens!

 

Hi Bren,

 

See, how you understand it, so very well. Thanks for the encouraging words.

 

Lake

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goldenlangur

Hi Lake,

 

Each image in your poem imitates the swirl of the burning incense - floating, fleeting thoughts and emotions, delicately evoked before they dissolve leaving the reader with a sense of the intense immersion of the poet in the moment and then the final cleansing.

 

There is poignancy and a haunting beauty in your poem.

 

So good to read your work again. :D

 

Thank you.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Hi Lake I just loved this poem. I felt privileged to accompany you to this spring tradition. Your images, your phrasing, and your chosen structure of the lines all work beautifully to communicate the efficient, solemn beauty of the event. This is lovely.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Lake, your poem is nothing else, but beautiful. Even the paradox at some part at the beginning, it sounds and feels comfortable, thanks to your writing skill -- you are missing "the incessant rain sad like tears". In each of your lines is seen your sense of existence and your talent. Great poetry. Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed reading this poem, a lot.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Frank E Gibbard

What radiates from this is the uplifting spirit of all you convey, in its beautifully described picture painted Lake. Deserves to be atop this list I feel, much appreciated as are the surrounding comments more familiar with the tenets of the ceremonial than I, Frank.

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Lake, I very much like this form. I often write in the same way. I cannot relate with the ritual of cleaning up tombs because the family opted for cremation, perhaps dusting the urn from time to time is the closest.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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