Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus
fdelano

Cleaving

Recommended Posts

fdelano

Cleaving

 

My finger tip ridges fill with a full tear,

 

just one of a stream finding its way

 

to your throat as you stare wide-eyed,

 

nothing entering your understanding.

 

Your eyes ask how I could touch you

 

when you know I'm leaving forever.

 

If there is still caring, why are you

leaving. How can you turn away?

 

 

I cannot reply with eyes that also blur,

 

but must find the will to withdraw

 

my gaze and finger, the last connectors

 

burning with a confusion of regret.

 

 

Where will I go except to grieve?

 

What will I do with this last look

 

and touch of your skin under salty

 

emotions of already killing want?

 

 

Where will you go to fall

 

like the dropping beautiful ball

 

in Times Square as this new year

 

begins in a split second?

Edited by fdelano

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
fdelano

Formatting is impossible, to me. My bad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Rea
Formatting is impossible, to me. My bad.

 

 

Hello Fdelano

What a beautiful picture of love and parting you paint, love the metaphors, love the poem, particularly the last stanza, a joy to read.

Warm regards

Rea

Edited by Rea

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
tonyv

Effective, Franklin. Not that it needs it, but I'd love to know some background on the inspiration for this one.

 

Tony

 

 

PS -- What are you trying to do with the formatting?


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
David W. Parsley

I am new around here. This poem help convinced me I should join. Nuanced capture of a devastating moment.

 

- Dave

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
fdelano
Cleaving

 

My finger tip ridges fill with a full tear,

 

just one of a stream finding its way

 

to your throat as you stare wide-eyed,

 

nothing entering your understanding.

 

Your eyes ask how I could touch you

 

when you know I'm leaving forever.

 

If there is still caring, why are you

leaving. How can you turn away?

 

[/size]

 

I cannot reply with eyes that also blur,

 

but must find the will to withdraw

 

my gaze and finger, the last connectors

 

burning with a confusion of regret.

 

 

Where will I go except to grieve?

 

What will I do with this last look

 

and touch of your skin under salty

 

emotions of already killing want?

 

 

Where will you go to fall

 

like the dropping beautiful ball

 

in Times Square as this new year

 

begins in a split second?

 

Thank you all for finding something in this. In explanation, the N is not always the author, but almost always draws from the N's life experiences. The success of any poem is its effect on the reader, intended or not. fdh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Larsen M. Callirhoe

wow, so sad. you pictured your words perfect. sometimes sophicticated vernacular draws me away from the authir's true vision. but i don't believe that in this instance. the choice ending of your poem is something i might never forget having stumbled upon. as sometimes in life you come upon something you will never ever forget long after the inncident happens. i believe for me this is one of thosecases. wow the ending is so perfect. thank you. franklin.

 

victor


Larsen M. Callirhoe

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
fdelano
wow, so sad. you pictured your words perfect. sometimes sophicticated vernacular draws me away from the authir's true vision. but i don't believe that in this instance. the choice ending of your poem is something i might never forget having stumbled upon. as sometimes in life you come upon something you will never ever forget long after the inncident happens. i believe for me this is one of thosecases. wow the ending is so perfect. thank you. franklin.

 

victor

 

 

Thanks for your words, Victor. Glad they made sense to you--or maybe not if they hit too close to home.

fdh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Larsen M. Callirhoe

hi franklin. the ending of your poem put everything into perspective of how you wished the other person in said relationship would realize the density or magnitude of the finality of perhaps the last goodbye forever. the end really grabbed me. i used something simiilar in a poem but i lost it in a computer virus august 2002. i was so pissed off. but that is another story for another time.

 

 

 

victor


Larsen M. Callirhoe

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.