summayya Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Poetry is coming back to me!! A monk In the garden the robin and the rose carry my tale on their wings. Silently the moon creeps up and hangs on the naked wire. A drop of moonlight quivers on its black arm and utters not one syllable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Lovely poem! The first lines of the second verse are especially imagistic-- summayya wrote: Silently the moon creeps up and hangs on the naked wire. A drop of moonlight quivers on its black arm... What fresh expressions! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Well done Summayya. I am glad that poetry is back to you. But remember that poetry is always in you / us so we are stopping to communicate with. This poem is so nice written and with wonderful expressions. This is beautiful imagery: In the garden the robin and the rose carry my tale on their wings. Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 WOW! Yes poetry certainly is back for you summayya. This is so good. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summayya Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 Thanks for the feedback. I am glad you liked the poem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 summayya, I enjoyed this immensely- a capture of the moment in life. Do I have to have a monk's mind to ... Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Hi summayya, An ephemeral sense of reckoning in this poem - nature is imbued with the poet's yearnings and yet a shadow lurks casting doubt and hinting at loss and even betrayal: summayya wrote: .... A drop of moonlight quivers on its black arm and utters not one syllable. This might be totally off the mark but in terms of sonority, I wondered if : and utters not a single syllable might also work as an alternative? Do ignore this suggestion if you feel your poem works as it stands. But it's really wonderful to see you posting again. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summayya Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 Thanks Lake. I am glad you enjoyed this. Yes gl, It is good to be posting again. But I have been really dry now a days. Suddenly it seems that poet in me has got boring and died. Its very hard. I am struggling but I guess this is just a period and I hafta be patient. As for your suggestion I did like how I had put the words and for now I will stick to them. But I have noted the suggestion and will look into it. (and perhaps I can use it another poem -- if I ever wirte again that is ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Hello again summayya, You voice a dilemma that many of us experience time and again ( in my case, at least) and therefore I do have full sympathy: summayya wrote: But I have been really dry now a days. Suddenly it seems that poet in me has got boring and died. Its very hard. I am struggling but I guess this is just a period and I hafta be patient. But just as how the high of inspiration comes and goes so will this dry, unproductive phase. And please ignore my suggestion - as a writer your instinct will guide you. I hope your Muse returns for a longer sojourn, goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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