Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus
dcmarti1

Two binas - aubade & serenade

Recommended Posts

dcmarti1

"Ades" Stiilis Bina

 

(2 love poems for Joe D.)

 

Aubade

 

Cleaving half the horizon, the morning

sun cuts across the eyelid of the earth,

and in a forever-moment the earth

is outside of now: not dawn, not morning.

Yet I'd crave You, my morning; You, my earth.

 

Serenade

 

Shuttering up the horizon, the night

throes – heavy blanket on the face of earth,

regardless of the weather on the earth.

Yet shroud me with Your fibrous self this night

and I'd succumb: You, my night; You, my earth.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Larsen M. Callirhoe

Marti you are very good at the craft with these short poems. something i aspire to but i overkill it sometimes. :)

 

Victor


Larsen M. Callirhoe

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tinker

Wow! Oh I want to use these in the reference section. Marti, you use the verse form Bina to write in 2 thematic genres Aubade & Serenade and yet create a whole which marries all 3. Awesome!

 

And the poem is beautiful.

 

~~Tink


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dcmarti1

Thanks, Victor and Tink. Whoever said that unrequited love could not be productive? I will edit the topic's box and put in the full name of the poem (yes, the two parts together): Ades Stiilis Bina. Estonian for "Ades in the style of bina".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
tonyv

Oh, these are beautiful, Marti. I love how you capture the moments, the morning-not-yet-morning, the evening-not-yet-night, the "inbetween-ness." There's anxiety, there's patience, there's desire, lust, and love. Captivating and very much to my taste, I love these poems.

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
badger11
Cleaving half the horizon, the morning

sun cuts across the eyelid of the earth,

and in a forever-moment the earth

is outside of now: not dawn, not morning.

Yet I'd crave You, my morning; You, my earth.

 

 

cleave/crave - love that sound thread - crave in particular conveys the appetite

 

'the eyelid of the earth' - is good, but becomes fab the way the image is opened up into the reader's mind by what's gone before

 

I found the repetitions bound the poem into the tight knot of emotion.

 

excellent

 

badge

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dcmarti1

And thank you, Tony and Badge. The cleave/crave was luck. I was more concerned with simple alliteration: cut/cleave/crave and shutter/shroud/succumb.

 

The inventor of the Bina (Bob Newman?) is to be congratulated.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
David W. Parsley

"Ades" Stiilis Bina

Cleaving half the horizon, the morning

sun cuts across the eyelid of the earth,

and in a forever-moment the earth

is outside of now:

 

Lovely lyricism, dc. And the synthesis of form(s)! Then, too, add me to the list of admirers for fused image of sun and sight. The immediacy, acute desire, the absorption in the Other: the essence of poetry.

 

You've got my attention.

- Dave

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
eclipse

I can only echo the above-lovely work

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Benjamin

Aesthetically pleasing and almost musical when read aloud. Excellent work. Benjamin

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.