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Aleksandra

Tale - Cinderella and Odysseus

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Aleksandra

Tale - Cinderella and Odysseus

 

The starlight splashed my day

................- illumination;

 

The moon is my sun,

and I am playing as a child,

pretending that I am the princess from the tales,

the princess of the night.

 

The view of the stars' paths --

dancing stars, hand in hand, made the sky grieve

and the child in me left in a hop

above the stars.

 

I am alone and poor,

living a Cinderella half-story.

I feel like Odysseus, looking

for his way home.

I am waiting for another day

or night, a month or a year

to get home, there, where my

heart sleeps, there --

to light the daylight in my day.

 

1.40 am 11.06.08


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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tonyv

This poem is just right in every way, Alek. The layout on the page is quite pleasing to the eye, and the way you indent and italicize "illumination," along with your choice of the word splash, gives the striking effect of being within a burst of light. The typographical technique you apply is especially effective, because you limit its use to this one occasion in the poem.

 

The moon is my sun is one of those fantastic expressions (which I love) that only you can come up with. From the same verse, it becomes evident that the narrator has a rich imagination, and though she is playing as a child, it is not yet clear whether she is a child; the expression could be referring to an event in the past, or it could be a similie, but you carefully avoid the use of the word like, thereby leaving it ambiguous for the moment. This is an impressive technique, because it makes the reader want to read further, to find out more. And the narrator pretends she is a princess, but she is not some ordinary princess. Rather she is a "princess of the night," and that expression in itself conveys a certain type of loneness.

 

From the next verse, the reader still can't be sure whether or not the narrator was, up until then, a child. Yes, the child in her left in a hop/above the stars, but the reader still can't tell whether you are referring to an event sometime long ago or to one that just happened.

 

I am alone and poor is a painful declaration, and it comes at just the right time in the poem. One must take a hard look at reality to even admit such a thing, and you elaborate with the reference to the Cinderella half-story. This intensifies the anguish displayed in the declaration: Cinderella was alone and poor, and things nevertheless turned out alright for her, but the narrator's story does not even measure up to that of Cinderella.

 

From the title, I suspected that the poem was about two different personas, but, by the time the fantastic Odysseus allusion appears, it is clear that there is only one persona here -- the narrator herself. However, despite all her woes, she nevertheless hangs on to a glimmer of hope, that one day, daylight itself will prevail over the faint, familiar lights of her persistent night.

 

This one's right there, Alek. I love it!

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

i like tony love the poem. my sentiments would have been very similiar to tony's so i guess we were thinking of the same wavelength about your poem. your aliteration and similie comparrison to cinderalla is right on the mark. the mention of the other name in the poem threw me off in the title. i thought you were going say that is so and so's personality treating you just like this figure in ancient lore. at least you are out of your writer's block whick is a good thing. im sure you have some wonderful inspiration to write about now with you new nephew being born. he is so cute and adoreable. getting back to the poem life is hard everywhere. my dad is retiring. he will get social security, and a pension but will work part time so he can pay his bills off.

 

take care aleks.

 

victor


Larsen M. Callirhoe

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pawn shop

aleksandra wrote:

 

pretending that I am the princess from the tales,

the princess of the night.

 

I am waiting for another day

or night, a month or a year

 

Those are my favorite lines.

Comparing yourself with Odysseus ?

Interesting

It's funny, in the story, the wife seems to suffer as much as him.

Very romantic and hopeful !

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Billydo

To light the daylight in my day!

 

Interesting line and really quite a romantic and whistful thing to say. I enjoyed this tale.

 

Thank you.

 

Mike

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goldenlangur

Hi Aleksandra,

Your combination of a fairy tale (Cinderella) and Ulysses/ Odysseus works well in conveying that not just the male hero but perhaps also a fenale person/hero seeks salvation, inspiration and a life freed from the mundane responsibilities and expectations.

 

I read the allusions to Cinderella's frustration as a kind of possible scenario from which a female, could like the mythic hero Odysseus, seek individual freedom to take to the sea of life to learn skills and hone talents that one has yearned for but never quite expressed.

 

 

goldenlangur


goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Aleksandra

Tony. I enjoyed a lot with reading your comment and review on my poem. I am pleased to get this kind of words by you. I read your comment many times and I am surprised how you took out some of the points in this poem about which even wasn't lucid for me, for example when you pointed out about playing as a child that is not so clear at the beginning, an I was a child or no etc. But you recognized so thank you a lot.

 

tonyv wrote:

 

From the next verse, the reader still can't be sure whether or not the narrator was, up until then, a child. Yes, the child in her
left in a hop/above the stars
, but the reader still can't tell whether you are referring to an event sometime long ago or to one that just happened.

Yes you are right here about Cinderella too. And yes a Cinderella - half story, because Cinderella story have an happy end, so I am taking only the first the sad part, and comparing.

tonyv wrote:

 

I am alone and poor
is a painful declaration, and it comes at just the right time in the poem. One must take a hard look at reality to even admit such a thing, and you elaborate with the reference to the
Cinderella half-story
. This intensifies the anguish displayed in the declaration: Cinderella was alone and poor, and things nevertheless turned out alright for
her
, but the narrator's story does not even measure up to that of Cinderella.

 

I am glad that you always like some of my expressions what I use in my poetry.

 

Tonyy thank you so much for getting a trouble to comment so loud and so quality on my poem.

 

Aleksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Aleksandra
i like tony love the poem. my sentiments would have been very similar to tony's so i guess we were thinking of the same wavelength about your poem. your alteration and simile comparison to Cinderella is right on the mark. the mention of the other name in the poem threw me off in the title. i thought you were going say that is so and so's personality treating you just like this figure in ancient lore. at least you are out of your writer's block whick is a good thing. im sure you have some wonderful inspiration to write about now with you new nephew being born. he is so cute and adoreable. getting back to the poem life is hard everywhere. my dad is retiring. he will get social security, and a pension but will work part time so he can pay his bills off.

 

take care aleks.

 

victor

 

Vic thank you for your comment and lovely words. I am happy to see that you like this poem. And I am not really out of that writer's block icon_smile.gif This is written before and now I just edited some small parts. And still I have not written for my nephew icon_redface.gif , I am not used to write about good things what are happening in my life icon_eek.gif

And yea life is so hard, but we can only pray for better tomorrow .

 

Thanks again Vic.

 

Aleksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Aleksandra
aleksandra wrote:

 

pretending that I am the princess from the tales,

the princess of the night.

 

I am waiting for another day

or night, a month or a year

 

Those are my favorite lines.

Comparing yourself with Odysseus ?

Interesting

It's funny, in the story, the wife seems to suffer as much as him.

Very romantic and hopeful !

 

Ah Jonathan how interesting is your view of this poem and you found it romantic? ... maybe sounds like that icon_smile.gif.

And not exactly comparing with Odysseus , but with his trouble to find his way, lost so many years, so with looking for the way home - yes I compare with that.

 

Thank you my friend for being around and share your poetry and thoughts here.

 

ALeksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Aleksandra
To light the daylight in my day!

 

Interesting line and really quite a romantic and whistful thing to say. I enjoyed this tale.

 

Thank you.

 

Mike

 

Hello Mike, thank for commenting. That line is the point of this poem. Glad you enjoyed

 

Aleksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Aleksandra

goldenlangur wrote:

 

Hi Aleksandra,

Your combination of a fairy tale (Cinderella) and Ulysses/ Odysseus works well in conveying that not just the male hero but perhaps also a fenale person/hero seeks salvation, inspiration and a life freed from the mundane responsibilities and expectations.

 

Goldenlangur yes you are right when you say all that about combination Cinderella and Odysseus

 

Glad you read this on that way as you did. Here you said wonderfully :

 

goldenlangur wrote:

 

I read the allusions to Cinderella's frustration as a kind of possible scenario from which a female, could like the mythic hero Odysseus, seek individual freedom to take to the sea of life to learn skills and hone talents that one has yearned for but never quite expressed.

 

Thank you

 

Aleksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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summayya

aleksandra wrote:

 

I am alone and poor,

 

1.40 am 11.06.08

 

Ahh! Alek though I am too stressed to concentrate on anything.. I hear you!!

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Aleksandra
aleksandra wrote:

 

I am alone and poor,

 

1.40 am 11.06.08

 

Ahh! Alek though I am too stressed to concentrate on anything.. I hear you!!

 

Summ thank you. I'm glad that I make you to hear me.

Be fine and come on get out from that stresses.

 

Alek


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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badger11

hi Aleks

 

Interesting mix of fairy-tale and classical allusions (and gender). Either way the voice in this has me listening and hoping there will be a 'full story' with the happy ending icon_biggrin.png

 

badge icon_biggrin.png

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Aleksandra
hi Aleks

 

Interesting mix of fairy-tale and classical allusions (and gender). Either way the voice in this has me listening and hoping there will be a 'full story' with the happy ending icon_biggrin.png

 

badge icon_biggrin.png

 

Badge thank you so much for your response, and your wishes for the happy ending of this story icon_smile.gif

 

Nice to see you around

 

Aleksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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