fdelano Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 As I enter this new-found depth, I do so warily at first, but the warmth and need to go deeper are overwhelming. My body and mind glow, but I move cautiously, savoring sensations that abound in waves. At the limits of my ability, my quest rewards me with that rarest find of all: a reef-protected live shell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Beautiful experience, elegantly recounted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonqueen Posted July 28, 2013 Share Posted July 28, 2013 Franklin, I smell metaphor of a 'deeper' ilk than you generally use. Much, much enjoyed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted July 28, 2013 Author Share Posted July 28, 2013 Aha! Open to speculation ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gatekeeper Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 You have the reader wandering right up to the end - good that it is a short poem or one might have wandered off. Quote from the black desert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted July 29, 2013 Author Share Posted July 29, 2013 Or dozed off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Fun 'dive' into a fully fleshed experience. Much enjoyed! Juris Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Fun 'dive' into a fully fleshed experience. Much enjoyed! Juris Agreed. And also agree that there are other tantalizing "live shells" probably lying nearby, but the reader is not given quite enough light to uncover them at this depth. I like the tightened sense of form in this poem and therefore will take the liberty of recommending a honing pass through the second stanza. As for the elusive okay-so-what's-this-really-about stuff, I am not going to speculate in this lighting. Thanks Paco, - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted August 3, 2013 Author Share Posted August 3, 2013 Thanks to all who "found" something here. Have tightened to my limits, hopefully. Perhaps a metaphor will emerge from the depths. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Nice!! - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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