Gatekeeper Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Ancestors Let me jump across the open space from cliff to large tree branch recapitulate the act of ancient cousins. Hit or miss it would take less than three seconds to white success or black failure. Would it be such a bad thing to revert to the older brain and remember briefly what it was like? 'keeper Quote from the black desert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 I like the way each line of the stanzas gets longer. Seems to add tension.....And I love the sentiment! Neat poem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Sheer, good fun! Very enjoyable calling up of he 'ancient of ancient' ancestors. Enjoyed! Juris Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 I like the format and fluid way the lines emphasise your subject matter. Looking around the world today, perhaps the "older brain" still functions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gatekeeper Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 Hey, no "perhaps" about it. The older brain prevails. We are still very much a tribal species. Look no farther than the entrenched politics of the day, or the deadly religious fervor from some quarters. We have just lost the capability of swinging from branch to branch. Quote from the black desert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gatekeeper Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 The format was not all that intentional. It emerged as the lines developed. With exceptions, I find it difficult to write to form, with intention. Much easier to let it "show up". Quote from the black desert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 I love the poem and the discussion that follows. It all makes me think of the American West, Horsehoe Canyon, the stars and open sky, ancient "ancestors," and that elusive yet ever present "older brain." Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Hi Gatekeeper, I love this poem. Interesting form with progressive lines within the quatrains. It is visually inviting to read. I love the concept of leaping across from now to then. I revert to the older brain all of the time. ~~Smile~~ ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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