Twisted and old.

[Benjamin]

Twisted and old: the gurning faces

of lichen-green and knotted brown;

peer out from dark and hidden places

with comic pose or angry frown.

They creak and wheeze, portend-- and threaten

to follow without being beckoned.

An albatross of bough and root

magnified by the long pursuit.

But what you're predisposed to nurture:

exactitude or imprecise,

benevolent or otherwise,

is nothing but a joke of nature;

that filters through the inner eye

in vague or random stimuli.

[fdelano]

Masterful, with analogy within analogy. It's as though you spread my carcus on your canvas. Now, about those rhymes...;)

[dr_con]

A delightful imagist piece. Among redwoods at the moment... seeing out what you see in..

[Benjamin]

Thanks guys. A parting shot before leaving for the Yorkshire coast: whalebone, jet, hearts of oak, real ale and Dracula.

[dcmarti1]

Hopefully, the Chris Lee "Dracula". :)

 

Oh, ignore Paco -- the rhymes were great! Just teasing, Paco.....

 

 

Thanks guys. A parting shot before leaving for the Yorkshire coast: whalebone, jet, hearts of oak, real ale and Dracula.

[tonyv]

These gurning faces are interesting in a disturbing sort of way, lol.

 

Tony

[Frank E Gibbard]

Suitably gnarly barking up the right trees. Enjoyable imagery as said. Frank

[Tinker]

Loved the rhythm and sounds of your words as they create a visual image. I like the rise and fall of the end rhyme of the Onegin Stanza, hard to do in English. This is the work of a master wordsmith. I did wonder at your use of semicolons though, they seemed to create a hick up in the otherwise genius rhythm and were unnecessary grammatically. Just an observation.

All in all this poem is a gem.

~~Tink

[tonyv]

... I did wonder at your use of semicolons though, they seemed to create a hick up in the otherwise genius rhythm and were unnecessary grammatically ...

 

 

I wondered, too, though it did make me think back to some notes on the text used in the Selected Poems of Frederick Goddard Tuckerman, one of my favorite poets. On page XXXV, Ben Mazer (the volume's editor) observes that, "A common observation of Tuckerman scholars and editors has been that Tuckerman's punctuation in the manuscripts appears to have been provisional. It is frequently arbitrary, sometimes nonsensical, and, in the poems that exist in multiple versions, inconsistent from one version to another ... Tuckerman appears to have expected someone other than himself to punctuate his poems for publication, and it is traditional in Tuckerman scholarship to assume that someone other than Tuckerman was responsible for the punctuation of the published edition of Poems. (It was not uncommon at the period for poets of reputation to expect their work to be punctuated by a house editor; Byron, for example, is known to have allowed house editors to repunctuate his texts.)"

 

I, myself, punctuate to the best of my ability. When I consider this about Tuckerman and other renowned poets, I don't feel so bad if I screw it up. In any case, never underestimate the value of a good editor. Right here on PMO, both Tinker and waxwings have helped fix errors in plenty of my own poems.

 

 

Tony

 

 

 

Frederick Goddard Tuckerman

[Benjamin]

My thanks to all for leaving your comments. There are various conflicting schools of thought re: poetic punctuation. I was told at a young age to use only commas and full stops if you must punctuate. I suppose though it depends on how an what we write-- and also how we want to put it over. As a musician, precise instruction became a habit: transferable as I've tried to do here, to prompt the reader to draw breath (mentally), to interpret the mood deliberately and with feeling via punctuation. The form is Onegin Stanza, a particular favourite that suits the more conversational style.

[fdelano]

Geoff, I was initially vain enough to think, "Finally someone has written a poem about me." ;)

[tonyv]

... There are various conflicting schools of thought re: poetic punctuation. I was told at a young age to use only commas and full stops if you must punctuate.

 

I wonder why? Perhaps to discourage the use of punctuation as a crutch (i.e. to encourage better writing), but I don't think I agree with the notion that one should limit his use of punctuation to commas and full stops. Why not avail oneself of the entire range of punctuation options?

 

 

I suppose though it depends on how an what we write-- and also how we want to put it over. As a musician, precise instruction became a habit: transferable as I've tried to do here, to prompt the reader to draw breath (mentally), to interpret the mood deliberately and with feeling via punctuation.

 

I get this part. And let's not forget meaning. I usually rely heavily on punctuation to assist with meaning. Every so often I'll go through the poems in my Archive and reduce seemingly superfluous punctuation. I've gone to commas and full stops in maybe twenty-five percent of my poems. Nevertheless, there are plenty I haven't brought myself to do this with, because the punctuation assists with the meanings. Semicolons tie together thoughts I want the reader to understand as tied together, and so forth. At least that's how I rationalize it. If I ever were to have a work printed, that's when I would take another real hard look at whether or not the punctuation is necessary, effective, appropriate, and/or desirable. For now, the poems stand here on PMO, catalogued in my Archive topic, in the spirit of Tuckerman and his use of punctuation. Obviously, he didn't sweat it.

 

 

The form is Onegin Stanza, a particular favourite that suits the more conversational style.

 

I like your use of the Onegin stanza and how you've limited its length to that of a "Pushkin sonnet."

 

 

Tony

 

[Benjamin]

Franklin: It may well have been for you if drew something from it. An inkblot test of personality, a prompt perhaps to mirror questions of the inner self.. G.

 

Tony: Many thanks for your comments and engaging in such a positive way. I agree that "Semi-colons tie together thoughts." What a succinct and most useful phrase. G.

[David W. Parsley]

A fun read, Geoff. Put me in the semi-colon crowd. It can carry a surprisingly large load of meaning in small space, which is great when writing poetry where every word must count. My quarrel is with the colon ending line 9: it does not seem the correct usage in the flow of that final sentence (as I read it).

 

On the rhymes: I found over half of them either downright inventive or at least not over-worn.

 

Nice!

- Dave

[Benjamin]

Thanks for looking in Dave. Your comments are always much appreciated and noted. Geoff.

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

I agree with all the amazing comments on this one. Wow... Benjamin just wow... I like the cadence in this piece as your words rivet my carefree thoughts nonchalantly. I thoroughly enjoyed, but not much left for me to say after reading all the responses to this one. But hey at least I can say thank you for sharing as I much enjoyed the clever wordplay in your words of poetry...

 

victor

[Benjamin]

Thank you Victor it's a pleasure to know there are a few people out there who read and care enough to respond.