Bloodyday Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Everything is in disarray My truth is changed for you My memories are lost nowhere My songs of love you didn't care My highway is still in apathy Everything fades behind my entity Some puzzle drives me insane I couldn't crack your mystery Perhaps you could make it easier Wish I could embrace you in my sole desire In this way my worthless verses born They are very lonely without any beauty My guitar won't cry any melody anymore If you could watch inside the door Still I sing sitting in darkness I wish you won't see my face The face you hate today Once you loved so hard You will hear only my song The song that still wants you so strong! I still find your footsteps They are still deep in confidence Wind is bearing your fragrance of roaming around like you dance Perhaps you are the planet discovered by thousand moons Or the encrypted signals for the lonely mankind One interpretation can dismantle the NASA I couldn’t acclaim my love till then Knowing my poems sucked up by the black hole! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 The narrator's discombobulation, resulting from his struggle to come to grips with lost love, is painfully evident from the very beginning: Everything is in disarray My truth is changed for you My memories are lost nowhere My songs of love you didn't care. His frustration becomes even more apparent where he goes on to write, My highway is still in apathy Everything fades behind my entity Some puzzle drives me insane I couldn't crack your mystery and Still I sing sitting in darkness I wish you won't see my face The face you hate today Once you loved so hard. His feelings of dejectedness even carry over to how he sees his art: In this way my worthless verses born They are very lonely without any beauty. And though the reader can feel the poet's confusion ("Some puzzle drives me insane"), it, at the end, resolves into this lovely, analytical trope and offers some much needed relief: Perhaps you are the planet discovered by thousand moons Or the encrypted signals for the lonely mankind One interpretation can dismantle the NASA I couldn’t acclaim my love till then Knowing my poems sucked up by the black hole! I like your "worthless verses" a lot! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodyday Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 O my GOD Tony.....you have just made an surgical analysis of my poem.....i think all the things kept inside it just got revealed! thanks for your excellent comment! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 O my GOD Tony.....you have just made an surgical analysis of my poem.....i think all the things kept inside it just got revealed! thanks for your excellent comment! How's THAT for "armchair psychology"?!? I enjoyed this poem a lot, Bloodyday! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Wow Bloodyday, I see your writing is improved. I love this poem. The expressions are so vivid and original. I love this line: My guitar won't cry any melody anymore and also the last stanza is wonderful. sounds so powerful and strong, especially the first two lines in that ending piece: Perhaps you are the planet discovered by thousand moons and the last line it's so ironical and with meaning in different ways. Knowing my poems sucked up by the black hole! Bloodyday, this poem is much different than the rest of yours. And I loved this one. Keep writing, you are getting much better Thanks for sharing Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodyday Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 Hi tonyv at my age, my armchair fascination would not be liked by the family members, because they love me to smile all over. But your words of armchair psychology is obsessing me like i am sleeping beside the sea! your two words tell a lot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodyday Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 Hi aleksandra! i am trying to set free those people who are bored of my poem h ha ha ha ha But there is an objection.....for a long time some of you are not writing! i think there is something to think about! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Hi Bloodyday, This is the first poem I read from you and I find some expressions are interesting. Beside what Tony and Alek pointed, I think these two lines are bloody good: One interpretation can dismantle the NASA Knowing my poems sucked up by the black hole! The former has the NASA, which I read tonight from Tony's poem. The latter echoes the "worthless verses". Cheers, Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodyday Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 Thanks LaKe Actually i am looking for the parameter which is sucking up my everything.....i am desperate to kill my apathy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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