Sonnet challenge

[tonyv]

L14:

 

 

That day she chose to ride beyond the wall

to the dark edge of the vast wilderness,

by nightfall wolves had gathered at her call

beneath a vault adorned in evening dress.

A great gray owl swoops low over the steppes

as a black he-goat takes the lead in dance.

Into blue flames the moon-racked pack all leapt

in pan flute augury, now lithe, now stanced.

I turn to ask my Gran for another page,

but hirsute hands now grasp the manuscript.

My eyes averted, too afraid to engage

a mind that has slipped -- nor is my soul equipped

to face the fate mere words, in vain, encrypt

from seed to womb till ash with life-force stripped.

Soliciting a title ...

[tonyv]

Playing around with the tense(s):

 

 

That day she chose to ride beyond the wall

to the dark edge of the vast wilderness,

by nightfall wolves had gathered at her call

beneath a vault adorned in evening dress.

A great gray owl swooped low over the steppes

as a black he-goat took the lead in dance.

Into blue flames the moon-racked pack all leapt

in pan flute augury, now lithe, now stanced.

I turn to ask my Gran for another page,

but hirsute hands now grasp the manuscript.

My eyes averted, too afraid to engage

a mind that has slipped -- my soul is ill-equipped

to face a fate mere words, in vain, encrypt

from seed to womb till ash with life-force stripped.

How do all y'all feel about using the past tense for the first two quatrains with a shift to the present tense to mark a turn at the third quatrain and couplet?

[badger11]

 

Playing around with the tense(s):

 

 

That day she chose to ride beyond the wall

to the dark edge of the vast wilderness,

by nightfall wolves had gathered at her call

beneath a vault adorned in evening dress.

A great gray owl swooped low over the steppes

as a black he-goat took the lead in dance.

Into blue flames the moon-racked pack all leapt

in pan flute augury, now lithe, now stanced.

I turn to ask my Gran for another page,

but hirsute hands now grasp the manuscript.

My eyes averted, too afraid to engage

a mind that has slipped -- my soul is ill-equipped

to face a fate mere words, in vain, encrypt

from seed to womb till ash with life-force stripped.

How do all y'all feel about using the past tense for the first two quatrains with a shift to the present tense to mark a turn at the third quatrain and couplet?

 

 

sounds good to me

[Tinker]

Me too

[badger11]

A poll for title suggestions?

[badger11]

A suggestion from each contributor for a title and then a vote?

 

My suggestion: Samhain

[badger11]

No further offers of a title? Either way great to have a PMO sonnet!

 

best

 

badge

[tonyv]

Badge, I'm liking "Samhain." It certainly fits the motif. I haven't had a chance to give it much thought, but I will this week. In addition to the obvious eerie elements, I also see this poem touching upon matters of mental illness, losing one's mind de to aging, dementia, etc.

 

Also, thank you very much for this sonnet prompt. I've enjoyed the collaboration a lot. When we have a title and completed poem we'll cross-post it in the Member Poetry and Collaborative Works forums.

 

Tony :)

[Tinker]

My internet access has been down for the last week. I'd love to get cable up here, it comes within a mile of my home but it is not financially conducive to go any further up the mountain so satellite internet is better than dial up. Samhain sounds good but I haven't a clue what it means and right now I'm too tired to google it. With no internet I had to entertain myself somehow so I have been painting my dining room and den for the past 2 days and Tuesday I painted my front door red. Love it.

[badger11]

Life without the internet...sounds real