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Fake Food


Jake Cosmos Aller






1.     Fake food

2.     Fake coffee

3.     Fake vegan meat

4.     Fake fish

5.     Fake booze

6.     Fake Bread                   

7.     Fake Eggs

8.     Fake Bacon

9.     Fake KFC

10. Fake Mc Donalds

11. Fake Healthy Foods






Fake food


in this world of fake things

Nothing is more fake

Than the food we eat


Most of the fake food crap we eat

Is nothing but chemicals

And flavorings


Added to a small amount

Of real food


All packaged and sold

And marketed


Scientifically designed to taste good

So we eat the poisoned food

And get sicker and sicker


While the food industry giants

Make obscene profits

Selling us poison




Fake coffee



I used to be a big coffee drinker

Had to have my four or five cups

Of real fresh brewed coffee


Not for me the weak instant coffee

Of decafe coffee or herbal fake coffee


But over time coffee caught up to me

And now I can not handle the real deal

And I am forced to drink decafe coffee

Which is a kind of fake coffee to me


Or herbal coffee

Which is entirely fake

Designed to taste like the real thing


But without that caffeine kick

That true coffee drinkers crave


Since we are all caffeine addicts at heart

Just need that rush to get going

And keep going


And the fake coffee

Just does not do the trick


And so, I am doomed

To drink decafe coffee

And fake coffee


Missing my real cup of coffee

Until the I enjoy the last drop




Fake vegan meat




When I go to a vegetarian restaurant

I often encounter fake meat

Often called mock meat


Made out of soy beans, and other things

And I wonder

Why bother with the façade


I mean if you are a vegan

Be a vegan


Don’t eat or make fake meat

You don’t need it

You really don’t like it


And it is somehow

just wrong to me


So please no more fake meat

No more tofu turkey for me


Either give me my meat

Or give me my vegan delight


from my unpublished chapbook, "fake things" available on my web page https://theworldaccordingtocosmos.com



Fake fish



Every where in the world

When you eat fish

In a restaurant


The restaurant owners

Claim it is salmon or tuna

Or other delicious fish


But the sad reality

60 percent of the time

You are eating fake fish


The fish may be fish

Or may not be fish

But if it is indeed fish

It is probably tilapia


Or some other cheap

Bottom feeding scumbag fish

Filled with toxins


And possibly tape worms

And other parasites


And as you eat your delicious fish

You are eating the fake fish


And helping the fish industry

Continue this con game


But there is nothing you can do

Except for catching your own fish

And preparing it yourself


So, when you eat fish

Pretend if you must


That you eating salmon or tuna

While you eat your tilapia

And pay the salmon/tuna premium price


from my unpublished chapbook, "fake things" available on my web page https://theworldaccordingtocosmos.com






Fake booze



I never real understood

The concept of alcohol free booze

Alcohol free beer

Alcohol free wine

I don’t get Mocktales


And I don’t get fruit beer

And coffee beer

And other the other weirdo drinks

That people drink these days


I mean when you drink booze

You want the alcohol


You want the buzz

You need the booze

And you want it now


And frankly fake booze

Just does not do it for me


So please no fake beer

No mocktails

No fake wine for me


As the song puts it

One scotch, one bourbon

And one beer


So, either give me the real deal

Or give me a cup of tea

Or coffee or water or juice


Or whatever

But don’t serve me fake booze




from my unpublished chapbook, "fake things" available on my web page https://theworldaccordingtocosmos.com




Fake Bread



Now a days

Most of the time

I eat fake bread

            GF bread

            For health reasons

            My wife can’t tolerate the real thing

            And so,


I eat fake bread

            Fake pasta

            Fake pizza


            But every so often

            I want the real deal    

            I crave bread

            Made with wheat


            And a real pizza

            And real pasta

And real donuts



from my unpublished chapbook, "fake things" available on my web page https://theworldaccordingtocosmos.com 



Fake Eggs



I love real eggs

From real chicken


Preferably free range

Vegetarian fed,

No antibiotic feed


No hormones added

Non-caged chickens,

 allowed to roam about


As God intended

them to do


Not locked up

In chicken coop hell


            But now

            We have so many choices


 We can have fake eggs

             Without any cholesterol

             Or yoke


 Tastes like real chicken eggs

             At least they claim


But who knows what’s real

            Any more


Can you trust

            The chicken is real?


from my unpublished chapbook, "fake things" available on my web page https://theworldaccordingtocosmos.com




Fake Bacon



It seems that bacon

Has come back from the dead

And is everywhere these days


There is even bacon ice cream

Bacon whiskey

Bacon tacos


Yeh I love bacon

But I don’t like the fake bacon


You can get beef bacon

Turkey bacon

Tofu bacon


All look like bacon

Taste like bacon

Cook like bacon

Seems to be bacon


But it is all sham

Nothing real about it


Just another fake healthy food

In a long line

Of fake food products


Designed to get our money

Out of our pockets

And into their greedy little arms


So, I resist

I want the real deal

I want bacon real bacon

With my real eggs


And if it means

I am fated


To die of a real heart attack

At least I will die

A real man


from my unpublished chapbook, "fake things" available on my web page https://theworldaccordingtocosmos.com

Fake KFC

There is a joke

That many years ago

KFC was ordered to change

Their name


From Kentucky Fried Chicken



Because according to the court

The chicken contained only 10 percent chicken meat

The rest was chemicals, soy and other extenders

And the chicken was not fried

And not made anymore

in Kentucky


That may or not be true

But  I did visit the KFC museum

Near the highway rest stop

Where the first KFC opened up


Back when they produced real fried chicken

From chickens sourced in Kentucky

And it was 100 percent chicken meat

With spices etc

No extenders at all


I toured the museum

But did not eat there


Last time I ate at a KFC

Was in Sapporo Japan

When my co-workers

Insisted on a American fast food lunch


I got sick from the KFC

My body just could not handle

The chemicals anymore


And so,

I never went back

And never will



Fake Mc Donald’s


Mc Donald’s is the king

Of the fake food industry


Their burgers are unnatural abominations

If you leave the burgers out for days

You can still cook them

And that ain’t natural

And ain’t right


No one knows really

What is in the burgers

That is a corporate secret


But one knows

That it can’t be good for you


I lost my taste for Mc Donald’s

And Burger King and Wendy’s

About ten years ago


I last ate at Burger King in St Lucia

And ate at Mc Donalds in India


Mc Donalds in India

Is not allowed to serve beef

They finally settled on a chicken burger

As their burger of choice


Wisely abandoning the Raja mutton burger

Which just tasted horrible

The veggie burgers were the best though


But I still crave a burger

And will eat at other chains

Or gourmet burger places


But the sad reality

The burgers are all the same

Ten percent beef

The rest chemicals and extenders


One day a study came out

Linking eating fast food burgers

To ED among men


And that may be true

It is also true

That eating fast food daily

is courting death at an early age


One day the CEO of Burger King

Came out

In a Press conference

To denounce the movie

Super Size me


He said

“Fast food burgers are perfectly safe

And delicious

I had a Whopper for lunch”


Then he collapsed and died

From a massive heart attack


Poetic justice

At work





Fake healthy Food


The evil food industry executives

Are on to us

They proclaim

That they get it

They need to sell us healthier food


And so, they present

all sorts of so-called healthy food

For us to consume


Only problem

The food is still

the chemical enhanced fake food

they always make


25 percent real ingredients

75 percent chemicals and extenders


they just slap a healthy choice label on it

charge you double

and proclaim it is healthier for you

than the other crap they sell


but no processed food is healthy

only food created from scratch

can be considered healthy food


So, as you enjoy

your healthy choice fake food

just remember this

it is still fake food

still poison

but boy does it taste good







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Jake,  at the bottom of the page is the Edit link next to “Quote”.  Deleting your original post will also delete the entire thread of comments.  If you still don’t see it let Tony know he is our tech expert.


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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