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tonyv

Dry Lightning

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tonyv

Emma, another round of cloud to ground
the world has turned. I'm moonshine, and she's wine.
She can keep the cruises. Tourist traps!
When she's not my mimosa every morning
we don't even make it through a night.
It's day, again, at last. I'm keeping Asia.


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Tinker

Wow Tony~  This is a different course for you and I really love it.  It gets better and better with each read.  One of the best storm poems I think I've ever read.  I haven't heard of an Emma, am I missing something?  Erin is the E name for 2019.   And right now it is Imelda that is making the news.  But still I believe I'm reading this right, Emma is a storm.  

Love "She can keep the cruises. Tourist traps!"    double entendre.   So smart and very cool.

~~Judi 


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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tonyv

Thank you, Judi. 😊

3 minutes ago, Tinker said:

One of the best storm poems I think I've ever read.  I haven't heard of an Emma, am I missing something?  Erin is the E name for 2019.   And right now it is Imelda that is making the news.  But still I believe I'm reading this right, Emma is a storm.

Emma is just a bartender. I hadn't even considered a hurricane or storm Emma -- how cool! 😀I love how each reader brings something of his own to a poem.

With appreciation,

Tony :happy:


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Tinker

Come on!  No way bartender.   You are kidding right?   

cloud to ground   / world turned  /  she can have the cruise ships / tourist trap  /  its day again /  I'm keeping Asia....   This has to be a storm poem.  

~~Tink


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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tonyv
Just now, Tinker said:

Come on!  No way bartender.   You are kidding right?   

cloud to ground   / world turned  /  she can have the cruise ships / tourist trap  /  its day again /  I'm keeping Asia....   This has to be a storm poem.  

~~Tink

She does wear a corset ... :blush::laugh:


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Tinker

This is too good to be just about a bartender.  Well I guess Li Po would agree with you, writing about a pot of wine can endure forever.

~~Judi


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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tonyv
Just now, Tinker said:

This is too good to be just about a bartender.  Well I guess Li Po would agree with you, writing about a pot of wine can endure forever.

~~Judi

Well, it's not really about the bartender, it's more talking to the bartender. :biggrin:


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badger11

Enjoyed Tony, my kind of poem. I feel that talking to the bartender  would be a great title.

best

Phil

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tonyv

Hi Phil,

5 hours ago, badger11 said:

... my kind of poem ...

Is this really true??? If yes, I'm pleased ... 😊

5 hours ago, badger11 said:

I feel that talking to the bartender  would be a great title.

I was considering other titles and leaning toward "Dry Lightning" or "Heat Lightning." Perhaps some combination like "Dry Lightning: a Conversation with the Bartender" would work. Will think about this. [Summer Lightning / Dry Lightning / Heat Lightning]

Thank you,

Tony 


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tonyv

Temp. change in title. Still wavering on this one. Might go with "Heat Lightning" -- haven't decided yet. It's the weather phenomenon I want to highlight, and I don't want to muddy the waters with a seasonal reference.


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David W. Parsley
On 9/24/2019 at 5:32 PM, tonyv said:

Hi Phil,

Is this really true??? If yes, I'm pleased ... 😊

I was considering other titles and leaning toward "Dry Lightning" or "Heat Lightning." Perhaps some combination like "Dry Lightning: a Conversation with the Bartender" would work. Will think about this. [Summer Lightning / Dry Lightning / Heat Lightning]

Thank you,

Tony 

Tony, count me among the votes for this title.  Elucidates just enough for the reader to follow your narrative without giving away all the lightning flashes.

Nice!
 - Dave

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tonyv
19 hours ago, David W. Parsley said:

Tony, count me among the votes for this title.  Elucidates just enough for the reader to follow your narrative without giving away all the lightning flashes.

Thank you, Dave. Sometimes people point out that it's a flaw when readers have to do too much work to make sense of a poem, and perhaps they're right about that, but I didn't think that was the case with this poem. Thanks for confirming it.

Tony 


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